Hurt, offense and pain inflicted by others is all too common in this world we live. There is little chance that you are going to go for a long period of time without being offended or hurt by someone. In all this, it seems too tempting to remain in an unforgiving and bitter spirit, but Jesus stands forever as proof that we no longer need to walk in that pain because He has rid us of it even before it comes.
I came across an article the other day entitled "Why you don't always have to forgive," written for a psychology blog and outlining the supposed benefits of bitterness. What pained me most about the claim is that none of the so-called "benefits" really passed as benefits to me. One of the things mentioned was how bitterness makes you a better person by showing the world how you don't need anyone or anything to be happy.
There are better ways of dealing with hurt than sheer will power.
Unforgiveness is mostly rooted in pride
Reading that statement got me thinking - does bitterness really make us more independent? Well, in many ways it does. It makes us think that we don't need the opinions of others, the approval of the world and so on. These are good things, but unforgiveness can also be our way of saying that we don't need God.
Most people choose to be bitter because they cannot rely on others - God included - to experience freedom from hurt and rejection. In these situations, we actually turn our feelings of bitterness into an idol that we become completely dependent on. That sounds a whole lot like a strong root of pride. It's not that you remain bitter because you can, but because your pride doesn't allow you to let go of the bitterness.
Unforgiveness shows we don't have enough of Christ
And I get how many people say, "You must forgive, but don't forget," and I agree with that. There are instances that ties must be severed because it's the wise and God-Honouring thing to do, but let's also not forget that just as others have wronged us, we have wronged others as well. Ultimately, we have even wronged God, but He still chooses to love, forgive and trust us.
Ephesians 4:32 tells us, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
Bitterness and unforgiveness stand only as proof that we do not understand just how Christ has set us free from our wrongdoings against God. We have all fallen short, let us not forget that, and just as much as we need forgiveness, God asks us to open ourselves up to His full acceptance and in doing so release full acceptance as well.
Colossians 3:13 says "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
