The primary spiritual leaders of children are their parents, not youth pastors. As we rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to guide us in the way we train and raise up our children, God enables us through Christ to effectively be witnesses, evangelists, and pastors to our children.
Parenting may often feel like a lot of work, and it is. We have to provide for our families, maintain our households, pursue a growing profession, and keep so many other responsibilities. Sometimes it can often feel like we no longer have the time to be spiritual leaders of the home, but, nonetheless, God calls parents to be pastors to their children.
Ephesians 6:4 commands us, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (ESV). Parental pastoring is something the Lord clearly calls us into, providing not just for the physical needs of our children but even the needs of their spirits and souls.
Now, that doesn't mean we need to preach to them more than our pastors do. In fact, many times what provokes children to anger is parents who overdo the preaching part of their roles as pastors of the home. While it's important to teach the Word of God, there are many other things that are just as—or even more—important than simply telling kids what they are to do.
As parents, God calls us to exemplify faith and good deeds for our children. The sad reality that children of devoted "Christians" are leaving the church could be attributed to the inability of parents to practice what they preach at home. They know God's Word, but they fail to exemplify a faith that devotedly believes and practices it.
We think of God's command in Ephesians 6:2, "Honor your father and mother," and think that it's a command that applies only to children (ESV). But it's actually a command that goes both ways. As our children are commanded to honor us, we are also commanded and challenged to live in a way that lives up to their honor.
That doesn't mean we should act and sound perfect for the sake of being perfect, but that we depend every day on the Holy Spirit to bear fruits of love and good deeds to our children. Just as our pastors are a blessing to their flock, we are also to be a blessing to our children. The only way we can do that is to tap into the source of all spiritual blessings.
Ephesians 1:3 tells us, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places" (ESV). As we abide in Christ, we are given spiritual blessings so that we may be channels to our children and serve them pastorally as we do parentally.
