Grace plays an important role in parenting, as important as discipline. Just as God gives us grace unbarred through Jesus Christ, we are also to be channels of God's grace to our children. When we fail to be channels of grace, parenting may very well lose its essence.
Grace is defined as the unmerited favour of God. None of us deserve grace, but God gives it to us anyways. Grace is what rewards us with life both present and eternal, what provides for our needs, and what allows us to enjoy relationships and treasures. All of this comes only through God's grace and we are all to be recipients of it.
Titus 2:11 says, "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people." Grace has been available to all and everyone now has the right to it as long as we believe. Question for us parents is do we make grace unavailable for our kids because we feel it impedes discipline?
While there is and will always be room for loving discipline, there will always be more than enough room for grace. When we inflict pain alone, we only do part of the restoration work. Discipline by its nature is breaking the flawed will of people and then restoring their will back into the right direction and into a right standing. That's what God does with us when He disciplines us as children.
Just as important as the infliction of pain is the affirmation of sonship or daughterhood that follows right after. Yes, there must be punishment, but there must also always be affirmation of love and affection. That's why we do not strike children with our hands because the hands were made for the expression of nurture and love, not of anger and hurt.
Revelation 3:19 declares, "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent." We can follow this format by Jesus of right discipline and apply love and affection as an extension of grace that expresses acceptance even in the midst of mistakes.
When we fail to show grace through love and acceptance, we build not a spirit of repentance but a spirit of rejection in our children. I don't think a parent would ever want that.
And if you've fallen short in expressing grace, know that there is grace for you as well. It's not too late to make adjustments to your methods of discipline. God gives us a second chance to raise and nurture our children in the way that He would do so.
