Looking at social media comment sections is like looking at a war zone nowadays. All the hate, name calling, objectifying and judging that happens is something that is truly bothersome. And sadly, Christians can get into that same mix of angry exchanges.
Is this really the way that arguments should be like?
I love the way we argue in my church ministry team. In every meeting there is always a certain level of disagreement, but it never escalates to anger—passionate discussion maybe, but never hateful exchanges.
We will always have opinions that will differ with those of others, but it doesn't have to turn into a fight. We can and must still show respect even in the midst of diverse ideas. 2 Timothy 2:14 tells us, "Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers."
Here are five ways to show respect even when there is disagreement.
1. Don't Parallel The Person With His Opinion
The temptation is always there to objectify and correlate a person with his opinion. But a person is more than just his opinion. Behind the differences are many things that draw us together as well. The key is to avoid judging and to look at the person as more than just an opinion, but a person with so much more than "bad ideas."
2. Stop Treating Unity as Uniformity
Acts 2:44 tells us about the early church saying, "And all who believed were together and had all things in common."
No, that did not mean that they talked, dressed, taught and spoke alike. It meant that in their diversity, they would share what resources, thoughts, beliefs they had and worked on achieving unity in the midst of diversity and not being drawn to the illusion of uniformity.
3. Understand That Your Values Will Differ From Others
We know that there are some values that are non-negotiable in our faith, but there are also some that do not matter as much as some would. The Judaizers that Paul addresses in Galatians are a perfect example: putting more emphasis on civil and cultural laws over the finished work of Christ. Some values will differ and that's fine as long as the values that should not be moved are still there.
4. Check Your Tone
Sometimes it's not the things that we say, but the way we say things that causes strife. When speaking, be sure to check the tone of your voice and see if you would be offended if you were the listener. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
5. Keep Silent
Sometimes, there is just no need to respond, especially when the other person is unwilling to listen and learn. In such occasions, wrath and hurt is better avoided when we just choose to remain silent.
