5 Signs That Your Criticism Is Not Positive

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love." — Proverbs 27:5

Speaking rebuke and correction can be a challenge at times. Sometimes God may prompt us to speak a word of correction for someone's growth and self-improvement, but we don't know how to deliver it in a way that doesn't turn out to be hurtful and judgmental criticism.

Fact is that it's tough to tell even within ourselves at times whether the criticism we want to give people is constructive or destructive. We can always claim that all criticism is constructive, but it's just not true. Sometimes we can come out as judgmental and hurtful whether it's in the way we say things, or our real motive, or what we want to say.

How can we filter out the criticism and correction we give to others to make sure that it's uplifting? Here are five signals that we must watch out for and avoid.

1. It's Not Done in a Way That Protects

All people need correction and reproof, but with the need for rebuke also comes the need for protection. When correcting someone, the first priority should be to do it in a way that protects the person receiving the correction. We can do this by observing privacy and being careful to bring nurture into the situation just as much as discipline.

2. It's Not Spoken in Love

The motive and foundation of everything we do as Christ followers is God's unconditional and unlimited love. We can never be too loving in speaking correction to others. This doesn't mean, however, that we can't be stern and strong. Love has to do with more than just the manner, but the heart of what we want to say and do.

3. People Who Are Not Involved Hear It

In our attempts to protect and preserve, correction and rebuke must always be on a need-to-know basis. Correction without the non-disclosure of a desire to preserve a person's image can only be called one thing: gossip.

4. It Doesn't Give Room For Redemption

The goal of rebuke and correction is always to lead people into repentance, not guilt and shame. With that we are to give people the chance to experience godly sorrow which will ultimately spur them to become convicted by their wrong actions and to make necessary steps to correct the mistake and bring restoration to the situation.

5. It Doesn't Point Back to the Gospel

Proper rebuke is always Gospel-centric in that it speaks not only of what we are supposed to do, but points ultimately to what Christ has already done for us. While rebuke leads to a call to action, it's not until people understand that our transformation comes only because of Christ's finished work that they can start working towards lasting change.