Just this week, news broke out about the split of one of the most famous couples today. Of course, I'm talking about Brad and Angelina. This has led people to wonder whether marriage can really turn out for the best - I mean here are two obviously successful and well-off people. So if these two good-looking, rich and famous people can't stay together forever then who can?
Sadly, so many people are misguided when it comes to relationships. We think that just because couples are romantic and happy on the outside, that their foundations are built up. So many marriages have invested so much on the facade and built up only very shallow foundations.
But the foundations actually need to be in place BEFORE we get married.
The foundations we build way before we even start building an actual marriage can be what makes or breaks the relationship. Matthew 7:24 says, "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock."
If you want a marriage that lasts the seasons, here are five realisations that will strengthen the foundation of your future relationships and that you should be well acquainted with even before getting married.
Marriage has little to do with my satisfaction. Yes marriage can be fun and wonderful, but it's not always going to be about your happiness and satisfaction. It starts first with God's pleasure. Next to that comes your spouse's satisfaction. When spouses think more of the satisfaction of God and of the other, they will find their own satisfaction just comes naturally.
I will not marry my dream boy or dream girl. Sure he may have blue eyes, a stable job and nice parents. Sure she might be blonde, vegan and church-going. But the idea of a dream boy or dream girl rarely lasts a fortnight; the reality lasts a lifetime and you will find even if they tick many of your 'ideal' boxes, there will be a lot of boxes they don't tick and you have to love both. A marriage founded on the right foundation will love and respect not based on expectations, but based on the abounding love of Christ that flows to one another whether or not we are each other's Mr or Mrs Right.
It will not always be rainbows and butterflies. There will be good times and there will be bad times. The sooner you realise that and accept it, the more ready you will be. There will be fights, misunderstandings and disappointments, but behind all that there will also be reconciliation if forgiveness is made a value in the home.
There will be a honeymoon stage and I should make the most of it. So many couples await the end of the honeymoon stage when they should be making the most of it. The honeymoon stage is a gift of God and should be maximised while it lasts. In addition to that, it can be a really valuable reminder of all the good qualities that made you love them if things get tough later on.
The goal of my marriage will be the honour and glory of God. The Westminster Catechism says that "the chief end of man is to glorify God." No less is true with our marriages. When we honour God with our marriage by following His ways and principles, God himself will preserve your relationship. Pray and talk with each other BEFORE you marry about how you can both glorify God together as a couple after marriage.
