Single Christians try their best to get this dating thing right, but inevitably one Christian camp says it has to be done this way, another says it has to be done that way, and yet another ends up saying that Christians shouldn't date at all.
It can all end up a little confusing and as if finding your perfect mate for life wasn't hard enough, there are some unhelpful ideas out there can even make the Christian dating process stressful, when it should really be a time of great excitement and enjoyment as you seek to work out God's will with another human being.
Here are five common dating myths that Christians shouldn't buy into.
You should only date "the one"
Because we're so careful to make sure the person we date will be the one we will walk down the aisle with, we can end up putting dating on too high a pedestal. While purity and sexuality should definitely be reserved, there is more than enough room for us to go on group or even safe one-on-one dates to get to know other people of the opposite sex more before deciding to take it to the next level.
There is a cookie-cutter method to dating
"The first date, you should only talk about dreams. The second date, talk about each other's families. You can only hold hands after the twenty-seventh date." We think that dating is a one size fits all thing, when it's really not. God has written a unique story for each and every one of us and the best method is always still to remain sensitive and obedient to God's voice. But that brings us to the third misconception
"Did God really tell you to date?"
Sometimes Christians might over-spiritualize dating and wait for a sure sign from heaven. "If a woman wearing red passes by before food is served on the sixth date, then he or she is the one." Not all things work that way. There is nothing wrong with asking for signs, fasting or even hearing God's audible voice, but it's not always the case.
Get married as soon as possible
"What, you've been dating for more than four months and you're not engaged yet?!" We can make the mistake of treating dating like a ticking time bomb. Dating is less effective when done under pressure. God wants us to be free of worry and pretensions coming into a relationship with others.
You can't compromise on your wishlist
If you're believing God for a bronzed, upwardly mobile professional with a great apartment, perfect in-laws, sense of humor and amazing personality - and you won't have it any other way - you're probably missing out. There's nothing wrong with standards and having some expectations, but God does say in Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Just make sure there's room in your heart - and your prayers - for someone who is God's idea of perfection for you even if it's not your idea of perfection.
