Gone are the days when hipsters were confined to edgy, independent cafés in East London (or Portland), quietly brooding about progressive politics over an aromatic fair-trade blend; they can now be found filling up pews all over the place.
Indeed, some congregations are fast becoming 'hipster churches'. But how to spot if yours is one of these enigmatical flocks? Look no further, we've got you covered. Check through the list below, and if you find yourself nodding along to most of them, you might just be part of a hipster-infused crowd...
1. Beards. Beards everywhere. This is fairly self-explanatory; the beard : face ratio often serves as a fairly accurate barometer of hipsterdom. Are there an inordinate number of bearded fellows filing in through the doors of a Sunday? Are twirl-able moustaches considered the Holy Grail of facial hair?
2. Check the uniform. Hipster men usually have more than a hint of the lumberjack about them. Have you spotted a few individuals determinedly forefronting the campaign to bring back double denim? (Not in a Justin Timberlake circa 2001 kind of way. This is important.)
3. Summer vibe, whatever the weather. Is there an inexplicable number of wife-beaters being worn? Make sure to take a closer look - these will often showcase an 'ironic' band and possibly a few unidentifiable stains.
4. A contempt of all things Nescafe. Try offering a cross-section of the congregation instant coffee after a service and poll the results – do the vast majority start begging for organic blends brewed with hemp?
5. If it can't be said via an iPad, it's not biblical. Does this seem to hold true? Apple products complete any good hipster's outfit: ostentatious tech + flannel shirt = single and ready to mingle.
6. Homespun worship. Does your church have its own worship band? Do they all wear 'quirky' hats? Have they released an EP available exclusively on vinyl?
7. Travel in style. Look out front of your church building next Sunday and count the number of bikes, adding an extra half point for every wicker basket. If you're more likely to hear Mumford and Sons than 'Could the owner of the Fiat Punto...' during a sermon, then consider your church hipster-fied.
8. Creative flourish. Are at least 65 per cent of the congregation involved in 'the arts' in some way? This includes, but is not limited to: dance, theatre, modelling, music, or the creation of a progressive/indie/ironic/conceptual manga comic.
9. Wedding bells. Think back to the last time you witnessed a couple say "I do", (it was probably only a couple of weeks ago, tops) – how many men wearing braces did you clock? Anything above three indicates serious hipster vibes.
10. The decider. The sure sign of any true hipster church: is the gluten-free option at Communion more popular than the regular bread?
