How Jesus redefines friendship

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved," so said Mother Theresa, and Care for the Family's Katherine Hill told a packed gathering at Spring Harvest this evening that we were never meant to live life by ourselves.

"Friendship is important to us all - the last night of Jesus' life, what did he choose to talk to his disciples about? Friendship," she said.

"In 24 hours he would be dead, [but he spoke about] the closeness of the Father, and the presence of the Holy Spirit. He said: 'I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.' [John 15:15].

"We are not made to live life on our own. In Genesis, the first thing that is not good in the perfect world God has made is that man is alone. We are made for relationships."

Hill said that we often take the idea of needing other people as a sign of weakness, but the worst thing we can do when we feel alone is to withdraw from those around us. "It is not weakness to admit we need a friend to comfort us when feeling low, or to to admit we need someone stronger than us sometimes to lean on," she said.

In giving us the Holy Spirit, Jesus gave us a close and intimate friendship. The Holy Spirit draws alongside us, as a comforter and a guide, and by his Spirit Jesus becomes a friend - even closer than a brother (Proverbs 18).

There are three aspects to the friendship we have with Jesus, Hill continued. As his life is entwined with ours, we discover that when we draw close to him, we can be real. Most people's favourite disciple is Peter, because we recognise his flaws in ourselves, and appreciate his genuine friendship with Jesus. "On the Mount of Transfiguration, sinking in the Sea of Galilee or denying he even knew Jesus, Peter knew that despite all that - he was totally known and loved by his friend," Hill said.

"To be close to Jesus, we need to be real. We need to come just as we are. The Holy Spirit frees us to be real with him, but also to be real with each other as well."

When we draw closer to Jesus, we also discover we have nothing to prove. 1 John 4:10, "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

She said: "In today's society we can forget just how radical that was. We are totally loved." The world, Hill continued, teaches us that we need to earn the love of people around us. Children are loved if they get the best part in the school play, win 'man of the match', are pretty or popular, and things are no different with age.

"We still believe the message that we are loved if we are successful, have a good job, get married, have kids... We believe we're loved 'if...'." Hill said.

"But the Bible gives a different message - that we are loved by a friend not because of what we do or what we look like, or anything else apart from fact of who you are. Jesus loves you as his friend, and we have nothing to prove."

Finally, when we drawn near to Jesus, we find a place of shelter, and a friend in refuge, Hill said. Jesus likens his love to a hen who protects her chicks under her wing, while David pleads with God to shelter him under his wings in the Psalms.

"It's about finding a place in our souls where we can spend time with our friend, and...whatever disappointment we're carrying, whatever conflict or pain we're struggling with...whatever our situation, our friend says come closer," Hill said.

"When we draw close to him, we can be real. We have nothing to prove, and we have that refuge in the storm."

Katherine Hill was speaking at Spring Harvest Week 1 in Minehead.

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