Pop stars all have a desperate need to obtain the approval of others, don't they? Well, no, would be the answer if you asked Justin Bieber. The What Do You Mean singer has divided opinions again with a series of recent Instagram posts. In one, Bieber laments the imperfect nature of awards shows and how they celebrate artists like him for "the things that I'm doing and not for who I am". He goes on to say in effect that this form of public approval tempts him to define his worth by what he does professionally. A follow up picture in which he has his back to the camera features the words: "We all get caught up in striving for the approval of others."
Both of Bieber's posts offer an insight into his thoughts and feelings on the matter, but you don't have to be a pop star to become almost addicted to gaining validation from other people. We've all adapted our behaviour to achieve acceptance among our peers, and for some of us this need can get out of control.
If you feel like you're fighting a losing battle when it comes to your relationship with other people's approval, here are three ways you can tackle it.
Make a habit of doing good things in secret
Anonymous giving isn't impossible in this day and age. Although Facebook and Instagram posts suggest otherwise, you can still give and not document and share this with the whole world.
If you're acting to help others just so your friends and "followers" will think better of you, your heart isn't in it. Challenge yourself to do a good deed each day or week that no one else knows about. If you're stuck for ideas on how to do this, there why not read our article on 16 acts of kindness you can do every day here.
Step out of your safe zone and give something new a try
Have you ever noticed how on TV talent shows, the first time some of the successful candidates perform they're breathtaking but when the producers get them to switch up their style, they're no longer as inspiring?
It's easy to look good in front of an audience when you're taking part in something you're well versed in or are certain will generate a positive reaction, but how we really grow is by doing things which require us to exercise our faith. Start working towards the goal that you've been putting off because of a desire to impress others. And remember, God will be pleased that you're finally doing what He's asked, even if others aren't.
Publicly congratulate other people on their achievements
Are you suddenly tightlipped when it comes to expressing your congratulations when a friend or colleague gets a promotion or do you scroll past your friend's popular Facebook posts because they're doing something better than you or deep down you're slightly envious that their post has attracted more likes than yours?
Start publicly communicating your congratulations when others achieve their goals. If they're close to you and it's in relation to a big life event, take time to send a bunch of flowers, bake them their favourite cake or take them out for dinner to celebrate. By working against begrudging the success of others, you'll be able to recognise that another person's success doesn't devalue your own or your worth.
