How are you doing with your New Year's resolutions? Are you on track or do you feel your resolve waning? Apparently around a third of us will have broken our well-intentioned New Year aspirations by February, and only eight per cent of us will succeed in achieving them over all.
So I guess this means not many of us are very good at turning over a new leaf, and perhaps it's this awareness that means that the end of the year is now marked by the kind of cynicism and snark that swallows up the 'new-year-new-me' declarations and shuts down any New Year's optimism. An increasing number of people I know have decided to no longer 'do' resolutions, and instead philosophise about time and the arbitrary nature of dates in a bid to out-think the possibility of failure.
But failure is inevitable, and even if we avoid the kind of markers and goal-setting that make it seem more evident, we still know the bitter sting of unmet expectations. There is much that can be learned from embracing failure, or at least accepting its possibility. The startup and entrepreneurship world knows this. They talk about "failing forward" and immortalise the failures of famous founders in startup mythology, but I'm not just talking about what is learned in hindsight. There are valuable lessons in the very moment of failure, that would be otherwise missed if we inoculate ourselves to it.
1. Humility
Failure is a reminder of the limits of our greatness; it is an antidote to naive hubris. Sure, failing hurts, but so often it is simply our pride that is damaged. When we fail, we should remember that progress is a journey and most of us do not possess the supernatural strength of character that results in overnight upgrades. The idea that we all fall short is one of the cornerstones of Christian doctrine. As a result, humility is the first step on the path to repentance and salvation. But even outside of talking about faith and eternal matters, humility leads us on other worthy journeys.
The realisation that we all fail at something levels the playing field. Does it make sense to silently compare ourselves to others, knowing that we're all a bit rubbish at one thing or another? Humility can also open the door to mutual respect and appreciation when we recognise in each other skills that we may not have. Either way, a humble mindset clears the way for the next lesson that failure can teach us, and it centres on one of Christendom's favourite words.
2. Grace
We talk often about the grace of God in light of our moral failures – and rightly so. We may even think about how we react in light of grace towards others, and this is important too. But what about grace and how we feel about ourselves when we fall short? Another reason why failure hurts so much is because we beat ourselves up about it. We are often our own harshest critics. We know more than others the intimate details of our weaknesses and yet we expect the most.
When we find ourselves humbled by our limitations it's an opportunity for us to extend grace to ourselves. If God can forgive us at our worst, we should also forgive ourselves when we skip on going to the gym for a couple of weeks. Grace acknowledges our shortcomings but allows us to live beyond them, which is where the next lesson comes in.
3. Hope
Ultimately resolutions are about hope aren't they? Hoping that we can be better than we have been before. Maybe that's why I'm a fan of New Year and the resolution-making that comes with it. I love the optimism that is present when we decide to improve somehow, often in spite of past failures.
In our cynical times, hope is a precious asset. It is fuel for the fire of perseverance, whether we're trying to achieve a secret goal or just keep on going in the face of setbacks. It is also what spurs us on in our walk of faith, when often we find ourselves our own greatest enemy. Hope deserves to be nurtured and exercised, in whatever small way we can.
So yes, failure is inevitable. It is also very necessary. Though it's tough terrain to navigate, a short spell with it does not have to be vain. It is recognition of our own failure that sets Christians on a path of redemption, but it also has merits this side of eternity. So whether you give into bad habits or feel like you've fallen from the path of grace, don't cower at however failure may materialise for you – see what can be learned from it. That's a resolution I think we should all have.
