Perry Noble, who was fired from his job as senior pastor of NewSpring Church in South Carolina three months ago, on Monday called himself a "hypocrite" for doing the opposite of what he preached.
In a lengthy post on his Facebook page, Perry revealed the details of his shaky marriage, drinking problems, and other controversies that led to his sacking from the church he founded 16 years ago.
He expressed gratefulness to everyone who's been encouraging him in his fight against alcohol addiction. "To say I have appreciated your kind words would be a dramatic understatement," he said.
For those who have been asking for updates about him, Noble shared a part of his journey. "I spent last week with my counselor and was able to make major progress towards healing. In meeting with him, he helped me to dive in and discover the areas where I clearly dropped the ball," he said.
After talking to his counselor, Noble thought it would be beneficial to share what had happened to him so it would help his healing process and at the same time warn others not to commit the same mistakes that he did.
Noble admitted that he chose isolation over community. Even though he constantly preached that community is important, he became a "hypocrite" by living out the exact opposite and turning to alcohol for solace. "Isolation is where self pity dominated my thinking, thus justifying my abuse of alcohol," he explained.
He even chose alcohol over his wife Lucretia and daughter Charisse. Noble said he and Lucretia had faced several challenges in their marriage even before he got hit by the biggest crisis in his life. But he made things worse by using alcohol as an excuse to deal with pressure and "to take the edge off" whatever issue he had to deal with.
Noble said although he deemed himself "successful" at work, the same could not be said of his family life. Even when they would go on a family vacation, Noble would try to "control" his schedule instead of living by the moment.
"Because of this type of behaviour, I missed spending time with my girls, choosing instead to answer emails, none of which I can recall. What I pretended was important was only an illusion," he said.
"For those who struggle with control — it's my prayer you will understand (as I am understanding) that control is the biggest illusion in the universe," he said. "We do not control when we were born, who our parents are, where we were born, the weather, the stock market, the maniac drivers out on the road or the day we step into eternity."
Lastly, Noble said he was wrong in choosing silence over crying out for help. He was deeply hurting and allowed sinful thoughts to "exponentially multiply" in his mind. He let the enemy deceive him into thinking "no one will understand" or "if you tell people what's really going on, they will abandon you."
But Noble understands now that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but actually a sign of strength. "If you are in a bad place, I mean you are living through hell on earth — my prayer for you is you would make the immediate decision to tell someone [as soon as possible]. Because, you are not the only one, people will not abandon you, and, believe it or not, more people will understand than you could ever imagine."
Noble concluded his post by saying that he is still seeking counsel, and would continue to provide updates on his recovery. He extended his apologies to his NewSpring Church family once again, and said being their pastor had been "one of the greatest privileges of my life."
