Marriage is very desirable. Having been designed by God to be a perfect Christ-centered partnership between a man and a woman, it has joys and benefits that no other kind of relationship has.
Many singles, however, need to know who to marry. Marriage might be very beautiful, but marrying the wrong person will end up in a lot of heartache. Just think of the many broken marriages around the world and even the unhappiness that can exist between those who stay together.
In this article, we'll take a look at some of the most common pitfalls that every single man and woman needs to avoid in choosing a spouse.
Pitfalls to avoid in choosing a spouse
1) Seduction
We often equate seduction to sexual temptation, but it's more than that. Webster's 1828 dictionary defines seduction as "[t]he act of seducing or of enticing from the path of duty." It simply means being enticed or drawn away from what matters most.
Many men fall for this type of pitfall. They see an attractive woman and end up pursuing her -- ultimately forgetting that marriage isn't about looks at all.
To be honest, we are all going to age. Any handsome or pretty face today will not look the same way thirty, fifty years from now. The physical qualities that many men (and women) fall for today won't be there tomorrow.
Don't be seduced, friends. Being seduced, based on that definition above, may very well mean "straying off from the path that God wants for you." This simply means that seduction will draw you away from the person you ought to marry.
Proverbs 6:23-26 warns us:
"For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; Reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot a man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life."
2) Different faiths
Many Christian singles make the mistake of pursuing an unsaved person for marriage. While we must pursue the unsaved to preach Christ to them, no Christian must desire getting married with an unbeliever in the Lord Jesus Christ, more so if the person is deep in other faiths.
This is the fall of the wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon. 1 Kings 11 tells us that he married so many women -- 700 wives and 300 concubines -- and these women turned his heart away from the Lord. He ended up worshipping other gods, building altars for them and offering sacrifices to them (see 1 Kings 11:4-8)
Solomon might have been wise, but he was foolish to chase after the love of wrong women, especially those who worshipped false gods.
Single Christian men and women, then, should make it a point never to desire or chase after an unbeliever for the purpose of partnership and marriage. That's a very dangerous thing.
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
3) Fun and enjoyment
Lastly, many singles make the serious mistake of choosing who to marry based on the fun and enjoyment they get to experience while with certain so-and-so. Marriage isn't based on fun; neither is it dependent on a person's capacity to make one happy.
It's a commitment to love one another no matter what.
Some singles foolishly choose a desired spouse based on his capability to throw jokes, or ability to laugh at even the corniest thing a person mentions. Don't choose a spouse that way!
- Just because a person laughed at your corny jokes doesn't mean she's the perfect partner for you.
- Just because a person's fun to be with, doesn't mean he should be your husband years from now.
- Just because a person makes you happy doesn't mean you've "found the one."
While marriages should be happy and undoubtedly fun, these aren't the qualities that make for a good spouse. A Christian spouse should first love God above all (including the spouse), love the spouse next, then the children, then the family, and then everyone else.
Friends, the spouse you choose should love God more than you. God is top priority, higher than you.
