After the birth of our second son, we needed help to make it through his first six months. With my wife's graduate programme picking up within a month of his arrival and the limits of my work schedule, we couldn't manage working to pay our bills, caring for our kids, and taking care of our daily needs at home. A nearby friend happened to need flexible work, so we hired her to clean our house for a few hours each month, picking up in the kitchen, sweeping and mopping the floors, and whatever else she could fit in.
This was supposed to be the professional's promised land – focusing on my work without the distractions of chores. Before we hired our friend to clean, I would have told you that my work is very fulfilling and that chores are soul-sucking. But after passing those tasks on to someone else for a period of time, I've come to realise that both my work and household chores can nurture my soul, and that chores can actually present some of the best time to meditate and prayerfully centre my thoughts.
I used to rely on a podcast or television show to accompany my chores. When I started learning about the Christian tradition of contemplative prayer, I started doing the dishes and laundry in complete silence – at least in as much silence as my kids allow.
I'd typically try some blend of meditating on Scripture from the day's Divine Hours reading, centering prayer on a sacred word, or reciting a prayer. At the very least, I practiced taking deep breaths, taking stock of my thoughts, and inviting God into my day. This wasn't shock and awe spirituality leading to incredible revelations or spiritual breakthroughs. Rather, the fruit of this time was gradual and almost imperceptible: a quiet spirit that was more aware of myself and of God's presence.
After a few months of practicing silence during my daily chores, I started to notice differences in my mindset throughout the rest of the day as well. For instance, while doing the dishes could be quite calming, I started noticing how my anxiety rose closer to bedtime for our kids – the time of day when a meltdown was most likely. I could finally recognise the kind of mindset I'd brought into our kids' bedtime routine and could prayerfully work on being present for them.
When my wife fractured her wrist a month ago, I offered to help with meal prep and cook a few meals. Mind you, this is the sort of thing I would have preferred to outsource to a local restaurant or fast food joint if it wasn't for our limited finances.
I don't have a great track record when it comes to preparing meals. I've dipped my hand in boiling water and caught my sweater on fire. I've burned, undercooked, and completely forgotten ingredients for dinners under my care.
But to my surprise, with a few simple mindfulness and prayer practices in mind, food preparation and cooking dinner hasn't quite been the disaster I feared. I've enjoyed a few stretches of time where the simple repetition of slicing peppers or prepping tofu provided space I desperately needed to unwind from my day.
Mind you, I haven't taken any leaps forward as a cook. The ideal situation for our home is for my wife to handle the meals! However, with a few simple practices, I found that meal prep could become a time of restoration – provided our youngest isn't building steps to reach the sharp knives.
I know plenty of dual income families who face similar demands and challenges with their schedules and family time. Hiring someone to clean or relying on fast food become quick fixes for demanding schedules. Both parents need to work in order to make ends meet, and as a result they have to find ways to keep up with cooking, dishes, laundry, and cleaning. I certainly don't want to judge anyone who needs to hire help for the short or the long term. We've certainly been there, and at times I think we would have probably hired more help if we could. Sometimes you just need to find a way to get by when life fills up.
With all of that in mind, I recommend investigating some spiritual practices that can help you pray or meditate on Scripture in the midst of life's mundane tasks and chores. Before you outsource your household's daily tasks or turn to Netflix to get through a chore, consider how it could become a time of reflection or prayer.
The mundane tasks of the home have a vitally important place in our lives, and we should at least take time to evaluate what we lose by investing more in our work and less in the practices that go into maintaining our homes.
From relying on fast food to hiring domestic help, we could miss out on the benefits of cultivating a quiet, present, and even prayerful mind while accomplishing some of the mundane tasks of life. If your work situation demands relying on others to maintain your home, consider how your commute or lunch breaks could serve as times for meditation or reflection. We can outsource a lot of things, but we can't outsource the care of our own souls.
Ed Cyzewski is the author of A Christian Survival Guide and The Contemplative Writer. He writes at www.edcyzewski.com and founded The Contemplative Writer: www.thecontemplativewriter.com.
