"Those who followed were afraid" (Mark 10:32)
Today I heard of a Christian who has contracted a rare, vision-threatening, parasitic eye infection which is enormously painful and very difficult to treat. It sounds horrific.
Yesterday I was hearing about how a Christian minister whose son died from a rare disease now himself faces terminal cancer. Over the past couple of days I have chatted to a number of older people whose infirmities – although in some ways a "routine" part of ageing – are frankly difficult to bear. Today I also spoke with someone with a very painful illness whose daughter has just died during childbirth leaving a baby with brain damage.
Some of these people display an inspiring and humbling faith; others are understandably struggling.
Life is sometimes very difficult. What do we do when Jesus leads us to a road going in a direction we do not expect and asks us to follow him along it? How do we cope when the journey of life seems perplexing and fills us with fear? I thought of all these people today as I looked at the experience of Jesus' first disciples. "They were on the road, going up to Jerusalem," Mark tells us, "and Jesus was walking ahead of them; they were amazed, and those who followed were afraid" (Mark 10:32, NRSV). No wonder they felt the way they did: the authorities were out to get Jesus and here he was, walking boldly into the capital, the most dangerous place for him (and therefore them) in the country. They would have been in fear of their lives. And yet this was where Jesus was resolutely taking them.
It's no accident that Mark speaks of the disciples being "on the road". The actual word in Greek means "way" – and Mark uses that same little word again, very deliberately, at the end of this section (verse 52) when he speaks of a blind man following Jesus "on the way". He almost certainly intends us to see the double meaning, for the physical route the disciples are invited to tread is also the path of discipleship along which all of Christ's true followers must walk.
It was a hard way for them – and it is therefore hard for us too. Because:
1. Sometimes Jesus leads us into pain
There is no getting away from it. Sometimes he does. "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God," the apostles teach (Acts 14:22) – and they are right. In this sinful, broken world which is out of sync with God, suffering is inevitable. We all discover this eventually. Here, Jesus walks the path to his own execution with firm resolution, and his amazed and fearful disciples must follow whether they like it or not.
2. Sometimes we do not understand
The disciples are "amazed" – not least because they cannot fully understand why Jesus is taking them that way. And sometimes it is the same for us. In my own life I have seen the Lord clearly and supernaturally at work – and at other times I have been been utterly confounded and confused as to what he is up to.
3. Sometimes explanations may not make things better
Jesus takes them aside to explain what is going to happen – namely, his crucifixion (verse 33). It's scarcely the glorious revolution against the Romans they had originally hoped for. But, as Luke relates in his parallel account, even after his explanation, the disciples still "understood nothing at all about these things". Calvin comments that the disciples were hoping for "a joyful and prosperous advancement" and so "reckoned it to be in the highest degree absurd that Christ should be ignominiously crucified". And sometimes for us, even when the Bible makes something plain, or other Christians offer us wise counsel, we may fail to understand – or simply dislike the sound of what we are being told.
The "way" down which Jesus led his disciples is the Way of the Cross. For him that involved a unique death for our sins. But it is the Way to which he calls us his followers also. Many Christians in some parts of the world are indeed being called to die for him. Those of us elsewhere may face hostility, prejudice and misunderstanding. Or perhaps our way of the cross is a prolonged illness, a life of celibacy, baffling circumstances or financial hardship.
Later on, the disciples would understand. But now, at this point, they don't. All they can do is put one foot in front of the other and follow Jesus in their fear and perplexity. And maybe that's all we can do today as well. We may not like the path he is leading us down or fully understand the reasons yet; but that's OK. At the end of the day he is the one who is leading us, and he is the one who will get us through. As a famous hymn concludes: "Oh, let me see your footmarks, and in them plant my own; my hope to follow duly is in your strength alone. Oh, guide me, call me, draw me; uphold me to the end – and then in heaven receive me, my saviour and my friend."
David Baker is a former daily newspaper journalist now working as an Anglican minister in Sussex, England. The Rough Guide to Discipleship is a fortnightly series.
