Forgiveness is one of those things in life that all of us will have to become accustomed to. We have all experienced being wronged at some level or another, and because of that we all will be required to extend forgiveness to someone at some point or another.
Matthew 18:21-22 has got to be the most staple verse there is to understanding the magnitude of forgiveness we are to extend: "Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.'"
No Jesus wasn't telling you to count up to 490 pardons but rather expresses how just as love is unconditional, so is forgiveness. Here are seven things we need to understand about forgiveness.
1. It's Not Easy
You've had difficulty forgiving someone at some point. That's because nowhere ever in the Bible does God promise that forgiveness will be easy and quick. Sometimes, it will take time and a lot of effort, but the goal is always to release full forgiveness in the end.
2. Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Trusting Again
While God calls us to forgive without end, it would also be unwise to keep trusting without end. If you've been wronged, it's okay to put up more boundaries and keep your guard up to protect yourselves so long as you don't harbour bitterness in the process.
3. It Takes More Energy to Be Bitter Than to Forgive
I don't know if you've realised it, but the mental capacity to remain bitter actually gets harder with time. It takes up so much of your mental, emotional and even spiritual energy.
4. Unforgiveness Creates Problems
Because unforgiveness drains us so much, it can cause some problems along the way. The old saying goes, "bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."
5. Forgiveness Has Nothing to Do With Feelings
Corrie Ten Boom shares a powerful testimony of having to face one of the people who abused her in the war. She recounts how she really didn't "feel" like forgiving the person but chose to anyway. It will be no different for any of us. Forgiveness is not an emotion, it's a decision.
6. Forgiveness Is Absolute
There's no such thing as forgiving just a little. It's either you set free someone completely (and in the process free yourself) or you don't.
7. We're Not Innocent Either
Something everyone sometimes forgets is that we aren't without offence either. Just as other people need forgiveness so do we. We have maligned other people and even maligned a loving and righteous God. We need forgiveness just as much as we need to give it.
