What is the secret to success? A lot of people who want to reach their dreams and conquer their goals often ask this question. Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" and president of TalentSmart, said the secret actually lies in one's self-talk.
"Your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can make or break you. When you make a mistake, they either magnify the negativity or help you turn that misstep into something productive," he wrote for The Huffington Post.
Bradberry noticed stark differences in the thinking process of successful people compared to that of people who aren't successful. He then shared the five thoughts that successful people avoid.
First, successful people don't equate perfection to success. "Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you're always left with a nagging sense of failure, and end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish, instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve," he explained.
Another faulty thinking is that one's destiny is predetermined. Bradberry said this is highly irrational, and it is just an excuse for people to blame their failures on other people or forces beyond one's control.
Next, Bradberry said successful people don't say "always" or "never" to anything. "There isn't anything in life that you always or never do," he said. "You may do something a lot or not do something enough, but framing your behaviour in terms of 'always' or 'never' is a form of self-pity. It makes you believe that you have no control of yourself and will never change. Don't succumb to it."
Fourth, Bradberry said some people assume success will happen when other people approve of them. But he said this is wrong because self-worth only comes from within, and it shouldn't be dependent on other people's opinions.
Lastly, successful people don't let their past determine their futures."Repeated failures can erode your self-confidence and make it hard to believe you'll achieve a better outcome in the future," he said. "Most of the time, these failures result from taking risks and trying to achieve something that isn't easy."
Bradberry said people should remember that true success lies in one's ability to rise in the face of failure. It might require some risks, but people should not allow past failures to shape their ability to succeed.
