The adoption process is a lengthy one, but the challenges faced by adoptive parents do not end when they welcome a child into their homes.
The Show Hope movement, which seeks to provide care for orphans, shares on its website that many people are unfamiliar with the full experience faced by those who choose to adopt. Because of this, it is very easy for people to be unintentionally offensive or insensitive to adoptive parents and their children.
"As we seek to bring vulnerable children home to families, we want to be careful to use our words in a way that encourages and brings life," they say. "Although the heart behind the words is almost never mean, we have to be careful with the language we use."
One common question people should not ask adoptive parents is, "Do you have any children of your own?" According to Show Hope, the question overlooks the foundational truth that families are built through love, not blood. At the same time, the question also brings "further injury" to a child's status within the family, according to Show Hope.
Another question people should avoid is, "How much did you spend?" Even though the question can be asked, proper language use should be observed. The important thing to keep in mind is that each child is incalculable regardless of the cost of the adoption process, and questions concerning the adoption cost might infringe on the child's dignity.
Meanwhile, people may only have good intentions when they comment that the adopted child is "so lucky" to be welcomed into a loving family. However, Show Hope warns that the statement can create negative connotations about the child's biological parents or birth country. It is also wrong to assume that adoptive parents are the "heroes" compared to the child's birth family.
Lastly, Show Hope says people should be sensitive enough not to request, "Can I hold him/her?" During the early stages of adoption, it is important that a child isn't held by any other adults other than their adopted parents as this disrupts the "important developmental process of bonding" with the parents.
