Humans are social beings and admit it or not, we cannot live a fulfilling life without our friends. They keep us company. They keep as grounded. Most of all, friends love and care for each other and that's what we value the most.
Because we cherish our friends, it's hard to imagine having a fight with them. As much as possible, we want to avoid any sort of conflict. However, what we often fail to realize is that there is such a thing called healthy conflict and we can all benefit from that in the best way possible.
In life, there are times when conflict is necessary. In more ways than one, we are tested; our friendships are tested. There's a multitude of things that we can learn from a good conflict with a friend and today, I'd like to highlight the three most important lessons.
1. Forgiveness
When someone has hurt you and in this case, that someone is a person you never thought can hurt you, the pain goes deeper. On the other hand, the feeling goes both ways like when you're the one who hurt a friend. As we know, the deeper the pain, the harder it is to forgive someone.
A good fight with a friend makes us better understand what forgiveness is about. Oftentimes, it's hard and it does take time to forgive someone, let alone a friend. Think about it this way, maybe God gave you conflict so you can check within yourself and see how you fair in the forgiveness department.
Every person has a different way of coping, but there's always a common ground. To be able to forgive, you have to look deep within yourself and find that love for your friend—the love that will conquer any fight between the two of you. When you hold on to that love, forgiveness will follow.
2. Humility
When I think of humility, I always talk about it side-by-side with pride. When we hurt someone, our pride takes over and we don't instantly think of apologizing and asking for forgiveness. It's probably our natural instinct to defend yourself first. It's the same way when someone hurts. Your pride takes over and you don't want to simply accept any apologies.
With pain, pride is triggered and it's a big deterrent in forgiving or asking forgiveness from someone. But here's the thing, when it comes to fights with friends, there's a part of us that always doubt ourselves (in a good way). We ask, "Did I really hurt her with my words even if I didn't mean to?" "Was I wrong to say that" or "Could I have said that better?"
When we ask ourselves these questions, it makes us realize—making the first move and lowering your pride is a small thing compared to the love you have for your friend.
3. Growth
So both of you chose to lower your pride and forgive each other and now, there's no other way to go but to be better friends. After conflict, there is always growth. And when I mean growth, your friendship becomes more stable because it is now rooted in honesty. And when there is honesty, trust is built. And when you trust each other, there's more room for respect, kindness and more love.
Going through a conflict with a friend can be a tough ordeal. It can get mentally and emotionally draining and that's because you genuinely care. Nevertheless, to overcome this hurdle, don't just look at the conflict at face value. Focus on the lessons you can learn and how this conflict will fortify the foundation of your friendship.
