Part One of my analysis of Justin Welby, former Archbishop of Canterbury, focused on his recent comments expressing his support for LGBT.
Justin has become something of a cheerleader for ‘faithful and committed’ same-sex relationships, according to his recent speech to the Cambridge Union.
It follows Justin’s 2024 assertion that sex is to be within a ‘committed’ (partnership or marriage) relationship “whether straight or gay”.
Perils to traditional marriage
Trendy married heterosexuals are now exploring ‘monogamish’ or ‘open marriage’. They might do so because they believe the mainstream media propaganda about how it will save a tired, boring marriage or give a wonderful boost to a fairly good one - ‘the grass is always greener’ is an important component here.
Sadly, it all sounds reasonable and plausible. The emerging role of bisexuality (those who have partners of both sexes) is also apparent.
As some would realise, if married gays can ‘have their cake and eat it’ - i.e. ‘play’ (as they put it) with outside partners, sometimes alone, other times together, and they seem to flourish, why can’t everyone else?!
But as Part One noted, while in the main, gay couples feel the need to ‘open up’ over time - or simply finish the relationship - it tends to be different for heterosexual couples.
Open marriage, end of marriage
Nena O’Neill’s pathbreaking Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples (1972) was fabulously successful in the West and encouraged countless ‘progressives’ to ‘explore’ these new relationships for themselves.
However, few ‘open’ couples were still married decades on, but that news was largely buried. It failed to fit the politically correct narrative and so few would have known the sad outcome. Though these couples might have divorced anyway, opening their marriage did not prove a boon as is so often claimed in the mainstream media - see the work of Dr Judith Reisman for more on this.
As sociologist Stanley Kurtz once noted [my own notes are added in brackets],
“So the mere social statement that marriage does not mean monogamy [or exclusivity] is where the real danger of legalized gay-marriage [with its ‘monogamish’ norms and mores] and polyamory lie.
“And the collapse of consensus about shared social institutions really does affect us as individuals [emphasis added].
“Once we as a society no longer take it for granted that marriage means monogamy, you may not decide to leave your wife. But you may be more likely to give in to the temptation of an affair. And that could mean the end of your marriage, whether that’s what you wanted going into the affair or not.”
The next frontier after LGBTQ+
We find that there are Christian polyamorous couples now ‘coming out’. If a little love is good, surely more love is better! And if a little sex is good, lots of sex can be better (as long as certain conditions are met, so they argue). What’s not to like?
Take Jennifer Martin, one of the more articulate US poly (formerly evangelical) Christian advocates who is delighted her United Church of Christ denomination is so ‘enlightened’.
“Polyamory has become the next frontier, and many of those same congregations now welcome non-monogamous families into their folds as well [as LGBTQ+ individuals] …
“As a Christian, it’s also important that we be Christ-like: meaning, that we put others’ needs above our own. Each relationship and each sexual encounter is sacred, and you should treat it as such.
“That doesn’t mean you have to deny yourself casual sex, but it does mean that you need to ask yourself if the encounter is healthy for you, healthy for the other person, and healthy for both of you together.”
Not what Jennifer has in mind
The mind boggles at what Jennifer (who says she is legally married with three other partners) is actually signing on to and publicly promoting. In fact, most of the poly promoters on the premier global poly site, Polyinthemedia.blogspot.com, are smiling, happy, attractive younger people (i.e. under 40), most (unlike mother of two, Jennifer) without children.
It’s great publicity, but what about permanence?
Quora answers the question, ‘How long do poly relationships last? On average, about 5-8 years’ (accessed 5 July 2025), which is in the ballpark of another large Canadian study which found ‘the average relationship length was nine years for closest partners and 2.5 years for second-closest partners’.
In fact, polyamory has various downsides as noted by the Coalition for Marriage which quotes research from ‘The Problem With Polyamory: A Social Scientific View’.
“Thus, the evidence from the anthropological and historical record, as well as evidence of problems associated with polyamory such as jealousy and relationship disruption, suggests that polyamory is unlikely to be viable in the long term, and will go the way of the swinging relationships of the 1960s.
“This evidence further suggests that polyamory is likely to leave a huge amount of personal chaos, misery, and family ruin in its wake.”
I lack the space to go into the physical aspects of why Jennifer’s advice is flawed but see my article, ‘The dangerous drive to sanitise and normalise polyamory’, which describes how multiple sex partnerships appear to hinder one’s ability to be exclusive: behaviours alter brains, hormones and the process of sexual ‘gluing’.
In conclusion
In Part One we explored the mostly unknown downsides of ‘committed’ gay partnerships and marriage, and in Part Two here, we have taken stock of the propaganda around ‘open marriage’ and polyamory, noting the roadkill - also mostly unknown.
Many are to blame, from the ideologically-driven mainstream media to an ignorant, compromised Church. However, naïve, sanitised versions of both same-sex partnerships and ‘open marriage’ and polyamory, are duping the gullible while leaders such as Justin publicly promote the former and appear ignorant of the latter.
Truly caring, informed, pastoral and biblical leadership has never been more in demand, yet where is it to be found?
God wants our best - life in all its fulness! Yet these counterfeits of love and relationship are damaging even those in the Church, while leaders ignore both the perils and the roadkill. And that is what is so tragic - all the roadkill.
Who are the loving ones now?
Dr Lisa Nolland is CEO of the Marriage, Sex and Culture (MSC), Group in London.
