As a child, when I staying with my aunt I would pop across the road and play with my friend Paula. She was a breath of fresh air. She was fun, had a great sense of humour and imagination. We enjoyed the same toys. She never made fun of me like children at school did. She was kind.
I couldn't understand why people would speak in hushed tones when they referred to Paula, often shaking their heads with words like "such a shame" and "she'll be a burden". I heard the horrible word "Mongol", which I didn't understand, so I asked. My aunt explained she had Down Syndrome and seemed surprised I hadn't noticed.
I had noticed she looked different and spoke with a lisp, but that was all and it didn't matter to me. I wasn't shocked about this revelation, but I was shocked by the attitude.
At the church I grew up in, an older couple had a boy with Down Syndrome. They appeared to carry this with shame, or rather, they were shamed by others in the church to the point their son was rarely seen at church. He was shut away at home, carrying the shame the church had placed upon him. The old wives' tales were rife, with the parents blamed for daring to have a child when "they were older".
I still think about him and Paula. I lost contact with Paula when she moved away and I'd love to know what she's up to now!
I wanted to tell their stories because they need to be told. There are countless other stories too of wonderful individuals with Down Syndrome in our communities and churches.
October is Down Syndrome awareness month, adding to the special week in March. So, before the month's up, I wanted to take a moment to focus on this in particular and celebrate all that Down Syndrome brings to our world, our communities and specifically our churches.
There are lots of children with Down Syndrome being turned away from church for many reasons, one being they are deemed a health and safety risk! I believe this is wrong, and so I want to briefly tell you about some young adults who are serving and encouraging in our churches.
There are those who have a gift of discernment and ask questions of people that many a pastor dare not ask – usually with the result of reconciliation and forgiveness. Another young man has set up a regular prayer gathering for others with intellectual disabilities in his community because he believes, quite rightly, that prayer changes things. Another young man preaches and writes great theological papers. He is a born evangelist. I know of a lovely young lady serving on teams reaching out to others in her community.
There are too many stories to tell, but I know one thing. The world is a better place with them in it. Look closer and you will find people with Down Syndrome who are married, hold university degrees, are gymnasts and models and who publically speak to various bodies such as the United Nations to stop the world 'screening them out'. Many hold down a day to day job just like you or I.
I know bringing up a child with Down Syndrome is not a fairy tale world. It can be fraught with many difficulties and can be complicated by other health issues. But I hear so many parents say that they wouldn't be without them and they certainly wouldn't change them.
So, why is it that of all unborn babies diagnosed as having Down Syndrome, 90% are aborted? And why is there no outcry about this – even within 'The Church'.
Mums carrying babies with Down Syndrome report the bullying and negative attitude of professionals, offering abortion at every appointment, even before being induced at 28 weeks. Every negative of Down Syndrome is given but there is no information about support groups they can talk to about the diagnosis. Parents talk about this in a video HERE.
To these parents, it seems as though the medical profession is wanting the Icelandic ideal of nearly eradicating Down Syndrome from the country as though it is a scourge on society.
I see Christians talking about the sanctity of life who then go strangely quiet when it comes to the issue of disability and abortion, and then move into the 'it's a grey area' part of the debate.
It's not a grey area; these children are still created in the image of God and are deserving of life. But if we campaign on behalf of unborn children with disabilities, we need to be the solution too.
If, as a result of our campaigning there are more children with Down Syndrome or any other disability for that matter, then we need to be ready to willingly welcome them into our churches.
The sanctity of life is not just about the unborn, it's just as precious after birth and well beyond. We as 'The Church' need to offer a place of belonging, and recognise the gifts and joy these children bring – even into adulthood.
Kay Morgan-Gurr is Chair of Children Matter and Co-Founder of the Additional Needs Alliance, part of the Evangelical Alliance Council. For more, www.kaymorgangurr.com and on Twitter @kaymorgan_gurr
