This morning I opened the fridge door and immediately spotted that the box that we keep our cheese in had moved shelves. My family had been staying for the weekend and had looked after our kids while we were out, so they had obviously put it back in a different place. I was intrigued by my response: I was both offended and surprised.
The offence came from my immediate reaction: "What's the cheese box doing there? That's not where it lives!" and the surprise, "Hmm, it looks neater there – perhaps that's a better spot".
As I shut the fridge door I felt God whisper to me, "That's your response when people do things differently to you". I knew He was talking about the 'offended' response. Ouch.
As part of a leadership training course I'm attending, we've spent time looking at how well we foster new leaders. I've started asking myself these sorts of questions:
Do I encourage others into new leadership roles or am I fearful of what that might mean for me?
Do I always 'need' to be involved in new initiatives or am I happy to see others bring them into fruition?
Do I gladly embrace new ways of doing things suggested by other people or do I do so half-heartedly, grumbling in my heart that it will never work and 'knowing' that mine is the better way?
Am I seeking to raise up other leaders who will be able to take over the roles I am currently in, or am I holding on too tightly?
We can glean a huge part of our identity and sense of self-worth from what we do (just think about the questions we ask when we first meet someone – 'what do you do?' is high up on that list). Unfortunately this can have an adverse affect on raising up new leaders or simply encouraging other people to use their gifts and talents, as we can wonder what it will mean for ourselves.
The reality is that there are more than enough areas in the church that we can serve in, and moving over to make room for someone else to flourish can often be just as rewarding as discovering a gift in that area in the first place.
Learning to see things from another's perspective, and seeing new methods and approaches put into place can be so enriching – that's what my 'surprised' response this morning reminded me.
That doesn't mean it is always easy, but often God works on our character through such times as we have to swallow our pride, and our 'good ideas', and let someone else get on with it.
It also doesn't mean that the other person's way is always going to be right – but surely we should be making room for one another to try out things and learn whether they work or not in an atmosphere of acceptance and love?
Thinking back over my own journey, I can pinpoint the people who gave me the space to grow. Sometimes I fell flat on my face, but I was encouraged to keep going and bring my own uniqueness into play. There are areas I serve in today that I never would have been able to if it hadn't been for the encouragement of those people.
I was so impressed, and challenged, when I heard that Carl Beech, of CVM, is stepping down from his leadership position. Yes, he is taking on another leadership role elsewhere, but he isn't going to be the overall 'boss' like he has been. CVM is his 'baby' – he founded it – and yet he's passing the baton of leadership for it over to others, taking his hands off and will be watching with interest to see how things change and develop. That takes real courage – and character.
We won't always agree with the way that someone else does things, and that's okay. It would be a very boring world if we all had the exactly the same views and approaches.
God has reminded me today to make room for others – and to be willing to be surprised. Do you need that reminder too?
