Churches are being encouraged to put friendship at the heart of their ministry as concerns grow over rising loneliness in society and within congregations themselves.
The call came during the online launch of ‘Friendship Lab for Churches’, a new six-session course developed by author and broadcaster Sheridan Voysey. The course is designed to help churches build stronger relationships among their members and address the growing problem of social isolation.
Speaking at the launch, Voysey warned that churches could no longer assume friendships would develop naturally.
“We are facing a loneliness crisis, a friendship recession,” he said.
His comments come amid growing concern about the decline of meaningful social connections across Western societies. Drawing on research into friendship, Voysey identified busyness, frequent moves, fear of rejection and declining trust as four major barriers that make it harder for adults to form close relationships.
He also stressed that loneliness is not something people experience only outside the Church.
“One in five people in church are feeling lonely right now,” he said.
Church leaders are not immune to the problem either. Voysey noted that around a third of ministers and church leaders experience loneliness because of the demands and nature of their roles.
The launch brought together several leaders and thinkers in the faith, including author and missional thinker Alan Hirsch, cultural commentator Mark Sayers, and Phil Knox, Director of Gospel Impact at the Evangelical Alliance. They shared the view that friendship should be seen as an essential part of Christian discipleship and mission, rather than something that happens on the sidelines of church life.
Hirsch pointed to Jesus’ words in John 15, where he tells his disciples, “I have called you friends.”
“The gospel has a human face,” Hirsch said. “We, being friends of Jesus, become friends of each other and friends of the world.”
He argued that genuine Christian witness grows out of relationships and shared experiences, not simply organised church activities.
“Shared life comes first and mission flows out of it,” he said.
Sayers highlighted how individualism and the growth of digital technology have changed the way people connect, weakening many of the everyday social habits that once helped friendships develop.
“The things that we take for granted, the chat after church, the Wednesday-night discipleship dinner, the catching up and bumping into someone down the shops that you worship with, this stuff is now valuable because it's becoming so scarce for so many people,” he said.
Knox agreed that personal relationships remain one of the Church’s most important opportunities to share the Christian faith.
“The gospel spreads at the speed of relationship,” he said.
Referring to research into how people come to faith, Knox explained that friends, relatives and ordinary church members often play a significant role in helping others explore Christianity.
“The most significant human influence won't be a professional Christian,” he said. “It'll be a friend, a neighbour, a colleague or a family member.”
The discussion also explored the growing use of artificial intelligence as a source of companionship. Voysey referred to research suggesting that some people are increasingly turning to AI chatbots for company, rather than using them solely for practical tasks.
“People are hungry for touch,” he said, emphasising that technology cannot fully replace the warmth and depth of genuine human relationships.
One of Voysey’s central ideas is that everyone should have what he calls “three 2am friends”, people they can turn to in the middle of the night when life becomes difficult and they need someone they can trust.
The idea grew out of a personal experience. Voysey recalled attending a fostering and adoption preparation course with his wife, where they were asked a simple but challenging question: who could he call at 2am if everything went wrong?
He struggled to think of anyone he could turn to. The experience made him realise that building close friendships required greater intention and effort.
Through the new course, Voysey hopes to help churches create environments where meaningful friendships can grow. The sessions cover practical topics such as conversation, vulnerability, trust, resolving conflict and building relationships with people from different backgrounds.
Early pilot programmes in Canada, the UK and Australia have received positive feedback from churches of different sizes and denominations. Participants have reported stronger relationships and a greater sense of belonging.
For Voysey, the aim is for friendship to be something every person has the opportunity to experience.
“Our vision is simple,” he said. “We want everybody to have three 2am friends.”
