I was once at a birthday party when two sisters were arguing about which one of them was the funniest. So funny in fact that they were referred to as "the funny one". One sister claimed it was her "thing" but the other one didn't want to let it go because she believed her sibling excelled in other areas where she didn't.
When we make a habit of comparing ourselves to others we take for granted and devalue the skills, talents and qualities that set us apart from them.
Satisfactorily measuring up to the standards that we've devised or that other people suggest we should adhere to is impossible because the goalposts are always moving. There's always someone smarter, wealthier or more charasmatic than you. While we can pick up useful tips from others, it becomes unhealthy when we use them as a benchmark. Jesus Christ is the only one that we should regularly compare ourselves to. He's not only given us commands on how to live but he's also given us a blueprint on how it's done.
Constant comparison isn't easy to avoid but it isn't impossible to address either. Here are four things you can do to opt out of it.
Praise God for your differences
What makes you unique? Think about it and thank God for it. Sometimes we can want nothing more than to fit in but God made us different for a reason. Instead of lamenting why you can't be as confident as the next person at speaking to large crowds, consider that your ability to connect to people one-on-one can be just as powerful, and is possibly one of many reasons God will use you. Instead of beating yourself up about not having pitch perfect vocals, consider how your enthusiasm for worship glorifies God by making it less about you and more about Him.
There isn't always a positive to our negative - sometimes healthy comparison does highlight issues we need to address - but in many cases our differences should be cause for celebration. So, rather than repeatedly telling yourself about what you lack, repeatedly thank God for what you have.
Compliment someone else for being good at something you're not
Just because it can be negative to compare yourself to others, doesn't mean it can't be positive to acknowledge someone else's talents.
What we admire in others isn't always something that they value, even though they should. A simple expression of admiration – "I really like how you..." or acknowledgement "You're really good at..." – can go a long way in encouraging them to embrace their own individuality.
Nurture a new talent or skill
Other people's achievements don't have to be a confidence killer, they can be a source of inspiration. If you know you're lacking a particular expression of your faith, for example, prayer and you observe someone who visibly and audibly surrenders to the Lord in such moments, by all means pursue opening your heart to Him in a similar way.
This isn't about imitating another person's actions or cultivating a copycat routine to satisfy your comparison habit, it's about finding a way to address your weaknesses and ways that you can be more like Christ.
Remember diversity is a gift
Your best friend may be able to make new friends a lot easier than you can, your younger brother might have achieved more in his lifetime than you imagine you ever could and your sister may really be the "funny one" but that's OK because God intended for us to be different.
Our differences should prompt us to unite, because who will your best friend turn to when their friendship group becomes overwhelming? Who will your young brother look to for support when the pressure gets too much and who will your sister confide in when she needs some serious advice?
