No-one really uses Christian pick-up lines. They're just a well-meaning meme that allow us to laugh at ourselves. Right?
Well, that's not strictly true. Because before we move on to the good stuff, I should probably make a confession. I have used a Christian pick-up line, and with some success. I was at a Blur concert at Wembley Arena in 1994 with a friend. Our joy at getting tickets for the hottest show in town had been dampened by realising we were on the back row but one. Behind us were two girls of about our age; we engaged them in small-talk during the support act, and then from nowhere, some unfiltered part of my brain decided it would be a good idea to ask one of them:
"Excuse me, but I don't suppose you're a born-again Christian?"
Some combination of the shock and the fortunate accuracy of the question won the fair maiden's hand (for a few months anyway). So against all odds, I feel I must now advocate for the faith-infused chat-up line; a sure-fire way to lay your cards on the table and let him or her know that any relationship with you is going to be a strand of three chords. But I'm getting ahead of myself... here are 25 of the best, worst and downright creepiest Christian pick-up lines in the world.
If you can keep a straight face, why not attempt some wholesome Christian cheese...
"Excuse me, is your name Grace? Because you're amazing."
"Hi, my name's Will. God's Will for your life."
"I think God's calling you to be a pastor; because he's calling me to marry one."
"You put the 'stud' into 'Bible Study.'"
"Want to meet up for a quiet time?"
"I went on a mission trip, but I just ended up mission you."
Prove your deep faith with these theologically-nuanced beauties...
"I didn't believe in predestination... until tonight."
"You to me are perfect, thanks of course to the atoning sacrifice of Christ."
"I heard Jesus has called you. Can I do the same?"
"If we got together, we'd last until the End Times."
"Would it be a sin if I stole your heart?"
"I'm not usually prophetic, but I can see us together..."
Impress him or her with you biblical knowledge...
"Last night I was reading the book of numbers, and I realised I don't have yours."
"You make me want to get all Romans 16:16 and greet one you with a holy kiss."
"I've been reading Joshua, so how many times do I need to walk around you before you fall for me?"
"Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives... because he never met you."
"Philippians 4 v 8 says think about whatever is lovely. So I've been thinking about you."
"The Bible says "give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry - so how about dinner?"
"I'd leave 99 sheep behind to come and find you."
And when all else fails, there's just plain old being creepy...
"I'm no Joseph, so maybe you can help me interpret these dreams I've been having about you."
"Would you like to be my accountability partner?"
"You're so unblemished, you'd make a worthy sacrifice."
"Like Jesus, I stand at your door and knock. I'm going to keep knocking until you open it."
"God told me to come and ask you out."
"Free hug?"
You are welcome. Now, in all seriousness, never ever, ever use any of these in a serious attempt to get someone to go out with you.
Martin Saunders is a Contributing Editor for Christian Today and the Deputy CEO of Youthscape. You can follow him on Twitter: @martinsaunders
