The English word love covers many meanings, but in Greek we find concepts often known as 'the Four Loves'. This is the story ...
What is love?
Love is a difficult concept. The term love is a pretty flexible and elastic word in English. You can think of love as an emotion, a feeling, a decision or an action or deed. You can love chocolate, you can love cricket, you can love your country, you can love your parents and children, you can love your dog, and you can love your husband or wife. The English word love covers many concepts, which are sometimes covered by more than one word in other languages.
The four loves
The New Testament was written in the Greek language, and the Greek text language uses different words which are translated into English as love. C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) wrote a well-known book called "The Four Loves" based upon four Greek words for love. He related these to the New Testament, which was originally written in Greek. His book was published in 1960 and is still widely read and quoted today.
It is helpful to think of these four types of love, because these different Greek words are all translated as love in English, and we lose some of the subtle nuances of meaning. There are some other Greek words for different aspects of love too, but the four which are usually quoted in the context of Christian faith are storge (affection), philia (friendship), eros (romantic love) and agape (unconditional love). These four words are either found in the New Testament and/or in the Greek Septuagint translation of the Jewish Bible, which the Early Church used.
1. Storge
The Greek word στοργή is usually rendered in English as storge. Storge is used of family love, the love that parents have for their children, and the love that children have for their parents. Storge can also be the love for your pet dog or cat. Sometimes it can be the love of a close colleague or friend "who is like family". In English we can talk of stogic love which is defined in the Oxford Dictionary of Psychology as "a primary type of love that is friendly/affectionate and is based on caring and nurturing". C.S. Lewis calls storge affection.
It is not used very much in the New Testament, but is found in compound words, where it appears in three verses in Romans 1:31, Romans 12:10 and 2 Timothy 3:3. In Romans 12:10 storge appears in a compound word which was translated by William Tyndale as "brotherly love" and as love (NIV), brotherly affection (ESV), brotherly love (KJV), mutual affection (NRSV).
It is the opposite of storge (astorge) which is used in Romans 1:31 and in 2 Timothy 3:3 where a negative form of the word was translated into English as unkind by William Tyndale and also in the Good News Bible, without natural affection (KJV), without love (NIV), unloving (NLT), heartless (ESV), and callous (New American Bible).
2. Philia
The Greek word φιλία is usually written in English as philia. This is the most common Greek word for love. Philia is the love of something where there is something in common. Philia is the love which leads to a lasting connection. Philia love is shown in the friendship when we keep in touch with a colleague after we or they leave the workplace, and we no longer need to be connected, but want to be. Philia is the root of the word φίλος (philos) which is translated into English as friend (e.g. in Luke 7:34, Luke 11:6, James 4:4). C.S. Lewis calls philia friendship.
You have philia when you love your church, your hometown or home village, your country, or when a Welsh person experiences hiraeth. You have philia when you love your teammates on the sports team, or when you love a pastime like astronomy or hiking.
Philia is known in English where it is used as a prefix as in philosophy meaning the love of wisdom, and in the word philanthropy which means the love of other people. More often philia is a suffix as in a bibliophile who is a person who loves books, or an Anglophile who is a non-English person who loves all things English.
The word philia appears within some New Testament names: Theophilus (Luke 1:3 and Acts 1:1) means someone who loves God, and Philip means someone who loves horses. When Lazarus died it was philia which was translated as love in "Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick" (John 11:3 KJV) and "Behold how he loved him" (John 11:36 KJV).
The opposite of philia is a phobia where you hate or fear something. Philia for your country is patriotism, but dislike or fear of others is xenophobia.
3. Eros
The Greek word ἔρως is written in English as eros and is the root of the English word erotic. In Greek it was an intense, passionate love, sometimes although not always romantic. In English we talk of being 'in love'; and people talk of 'making love'. C.S. Lewis just calls this kind of love eros.
In the New Testament the concept of eros is used for the love between a husband and wife. The idea of eros is also found in the poetic Song of Solomon in the Old Testament. The word eros is not explicitly used in the text of the New Testament, but the concept of eros love in the context of a husband and wife is found, see 1 Corinthians 7:5 and Hebrews 13:4.
Eros was a mythological goddess, who then came to symbolise romantic love. Her brother Anteros was the mythological god of selfless or unrequited love. Eros is perhaps better known by his Roman name of Cupid, often illustrated shooting arrows at someone to make them fall in love.
An example of unselfless love was the Victorian evangelical Christian politician Lord Shaftesbury (1801-1885). His Christian beliefs and love of people drove him to spearhead social reform. After he died the people of London wanted a statue to remember him. They erected a statue of Anteros in 1894, which was to represent his selfless philanthropic love. It was a bit odd perhaps that his Christian love was represented by a statue of a pagan god, and it is unfair that this famous statue at Piccadilly Circus is often incorrectly commonly known as Eros, which in his case actually represents the wrong kind of love.
The opposite of eros is an intense hatred or loathing of someone or something.
4. Agape
The Greek word ἀγάπη, usually written in English as agape, is a selfless spiritual love for others. Agape is a selfless love, in the sense of being kind and loving, which forgives, and is given whether it is returned or not. Agape wants the best for others whether they are friends or enemies.
It is agape which is translated as love in, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44 KJV). It is agape which is translated as love in the phrase "God is love" (1 John 4:8 NIV). It is agape which is translated as love by William Tyndale in "Now abideth faith, hope, and love, even these three: but the chief of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13).
C.S. Lewis calls agape charity, which is how the word was translated in the Authorized King James Version where it says: "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up" (1 Corinthians 13:4), and "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity" (1 Corinthians 13:13). This is a bit misleading today, as in the modern sense, charity tends to imply an organisation, but nevertheless the sense of putting love in action is still there.
The opposite of agape is selfishness and indifference to others.
Agape fellowships
In the Early Church the word agape was also used for a communal meal, held in Christian fellowship, when they invited and included the poor. See Jude verse 12 and 2 Peter 2:13 where it was translated as "feasts of charity" (KJV), or perhaps misleadingly as "love feast" (NIV, ESV) or more helpfully as "fellowship meal" (GNB, NLT). In the past it was fashionable for some church fellowship groups and Christian Unions to be called apape groups, although this is less common these days.
St Paul's definition
It is the word agape which St Paul used when he summed up love with the words in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, which is a passage often quoted at weddings: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV). Here St Paul lists the traits of agape as being patient (long-suffering), kind, honourable, truthful, resilient, protecting, trusting, hopeful, enduring and persevering. He contrasts it with being envious, boastful, arrogant, rude (ill-mannered), proud, dishonorable, self-seeking, quick to anger, grudging, gloating, resentful and dishonest as marks of what agape is not. Jesus said that "By their fruits you shall know them" (Matthew 7:20).
The order of love
I do not believe that love thinks in terms of myself first, then my family, then my neighbours, then my country, then others. As Jesus asked: "Do not even pagans do that?" (Matthew 5:47). For Christians there is no favouritism (James 2:1). Jesus said that the order is that the first commandment is to love God, and then the next is to love our neighbours (Matthew 22:34-39). Jesus then told the story of the Good Samaritan to illustrate that true love treats all people as our neighbours (Luke 10:30-37), and with Christian love we even love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Jesus commanded that we love one another (John 13:34), and this should be a recognisable characteristic of Christians (John 13:35), and the order is in fact to love others first before ourselves (Philippians 2:3).
Conclusion
Christian agape love is not selfishly driven. For C.S. Lewis in his book "The Four Loves", he saw affection (storge), friendship (philia) and eros in normal human life, but he saw agape as divine from God, who is love (1 John 4:8). God wants us to love mercy (Micah 6:8), love justice (Isaiah 61:8), love truth and love peace (Zechariah 8:19). Applying love to these will also inevitably affect our actions, family life, church activities and politics.
