There are some circumstances in life that we get to choose, but mostly they seem to choose us. Whether you hate change or are always looking for the next adventure, in the end we mostly can't control how our life goes.
I was born number three, the only daughter, into a family of seven children and two loving parents. My parents had given up a life negatively impacted by my dad's drugs addiction to follow Jesus. I scraped my way through university both academically and financially but fell head over heels for Jesus, who became so much more than something I did on a Sunday at church.
Later I fell head over heels for my husband too, but not before I had moved to Manchester to share Jesus with the inner city. Three children later, I've experienced the great joy of living in community, sharing lives and the gospel and also the pain of great loss. There have been young people we loved who never made it to be adults, adults whose lives have been cut short through addiction and brokenness. I've known the loss of friendships and ministries, dreams and expectations.
I've heard a lot from the book of Ruth recently. I cannot imagine what it must have felt like for Ruth to have lost her husband and then chosen to follow Naomi to a place and people not her own. Ruth was vulnerable yet incredibly brave, putting all her trust in the God of Israel – who turned out to be all she could ever need. Ruth laid down her life for Naomi and yet throughout the story we see God, the one who lays down his life for us, pursuing Ruth with his 'hesed' love – a word that describes God's steadfast, never-failing, never-ending love for us. As Ruth puts her trust in God, in the direst of circumstances, God's love protects and surrounds her, giving her everything she needs.
God honours those who trust in him.
Ruth was childless and a widow, without name or status or any hope for the future. Though she had no control over her circumstances, God was faithful as she put all her trust in him. Not only does he provide a child, but one who becomes famous throughout Israel – a child who will eventually become a great grandfather of King David, who becomes a great grandfather of another king – King Jesus.
With every new season there comes a loss, a grief for the old one. With every situation we have an opportunity to trust in the God who pursues us with this same 'hesed' love.
After 10 years of staying at home with the children I do find myself wondering what God's plan is for me. I feel a little like Ruth, who goes out to the fields to pick up the leftover grain, with no idea of what is next but asking God to help me trust that my future is in his hands.
Although I long to once again use the gifts and skills and passion for God's kingdom that God has given me, this new season looks completely different to the season before children, when I was able to work full time for the church. I'm part of a different church, I'm limited by school pick-ups and term times. I'm studying and serving and seeking God's kingdom and I'm trusting God that he will provide financially for us. I'm slowly learning that I can trust God with the desires and passions he has put inside me – they are all his, after all.
I don't know how God is going to use me in this next season of life, but I am trusting not only that he will, but that he is enough for me, in every way. I joke that Jesus is my line manager these days. I might not have a job title or a pay grade but my name is written in heaven and I get to serve a faithful God.
On the days when we look at life and all we can see is loss, when grief and pain and emptiness fill our hearts; when a situation feels impossible, we can put our trust in the God of the impossible. This is the God who rose again on the third day, who gives sight to the blind, rescues sinners and gives nobodies like Ruth and Naomi a name that will be remembered forever.
We do not need to fear what we feel we are laying down. We are in the safest, kindest hands imaginable. Whatever your circumstances are today, whether things appear to be going well, or whether the struggle is real, you can put your whole trust in God. He is trustworthy. It will be costly to give your life away, your dreams and even your ministries away, but God is always after us to do us good.
Lizzie Bassford is a wife, mum and missionary living in inner-city Manchester. Follow her on Twitter @captivated01.
