After they found out that their eldest son Josh had molested four of his younger siblings and a babysitter, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar from "19 Kids and Counting" said they implemented "safeguards" that would protect their daughters from inappropriate touching.
But Gail Wyatt, Ph.D. and director of the University of California, Los Angeles, Sexual Health program, told PEOPLE that their "safeguards" were not really effective. He said parents facing a similar problem should have a heart-to-heart talk with their children instead.
The Duggars' "safeguards" included not letting the boys babysit and not letting the boys and girls play hide-and-seek together. "Two don't go off and hide," explained Michelle. Girls were never left alone in the same room with the boys.
"You know, little ones don't sit on big boys' laps or people that you don't know or even family members, unless it's your daddy. So we just ... there's boundaries that we've learned," Michelle added.
But Wyatt stressed that comfort is the key and that "parents need to recognize that forcing kids to behave in a way that may make the parents feel comfortable or someone else feel comfortable doesn't necessarily make the kids feel comfortable."
It isn't also okay when children are kept from sitting on laps, hugging, and kissing their relatives in greeting. "Kids need to express their own feelings about greeting people and it may be based on their experience, not your own," said Wyatt.
Abuse takes many forms, she said, and the perpetrator might devise certain games that would allow him or her to get to the intended victim. "You need to sit down and talk to your kids about what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior," urged Wyatt. "You can't just identify one particular game because then you might miss four others."
