3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Marrying That Person


Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It's not like other agreements or deals wherein you can back out anytime, or opt out of. Marriage is a sacred covenant that God holds very dearly in His heart. Thus, it's best to understand that when we enter it, we shouldn't want out of it.

Seeing marriage as a lifelong commitment to serve, honour, cherish and protect the person that God gives you really helps. You're going to spend every day of your life with your spouse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad times, and through all the storms and the sunny days of your lives together. Knowing this, you better come to the marriage altar prepared.

To help you prepare for marriage, here are some questions you should ask yourself. Just one tip, though: Answer them honestly and matter-of-factly.

1. Am I Ready to Commit Myself Exclusively to This Person?

If you answer "no," then don't even think of marrying that person. When a married man or woman wants to spend more time with others as compared to the time (and effort) they spend with their spouses, their marriage will of course be strained and put in danger. Worse, when a husband or wife seeks another person because they can't commit exclusively to their spouse, the marriage will be destroyed. Thus, no "what ifs" should be entertained.

Consider why God brought Eve to Adam alone (see Genesis 2:21-25). If God wanted marriage to have more than just a man and a woman, He would have brought at least two people to Adam. Marriage demands that a husband be faithful to his wife alone, and vice versa (see Genesis 2:24-25; Ephesians 5:21-33). No third parties allowed.

2. Am I Willing to Spend the Rest of My Life – Finance and Freedom Included – With This Person?

If you said "no," then please stop thinking about marrying that person. Marriage is a lifelong journey of loving just one person, including the good, the bad, and the ugly, for the rest of one's life. You don't go to the marriage altar, say your vows, wear the rings, and then expect to be given the freedom to divorce or leave your spouse! Even if you successfully leave your spouse, you won't get away from God, who hates divorce (see Malachi 2:16; Mark 10:9).

So before you marry that person, make sure that you're willing to let go of your personal freedom in terms of your time, your finances, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, and be willing to love that person no matter what, until the day you die.

3. Will Marrying This Person Help Me Love God?

If you foresee marrying that person as a possible challenge or rival to God, then please don't marry that person (see Exodus 20:3-5). I'm not going to stop you, but if your relationship with God is negatively affected by marrying that person, then it's not worth it.

God is higher than any human relationship we'll ever have. He was the one who gave Eve to Adam, the one who made marriage, the one who gave purpose to marriage. In fact, marriage is not about a man and a woman joining together as one. Marriage is about God's purposes. In marriage, we should get to know God more and love Him more.