Rick Warren: How To Respond When Someone Hurts You

Reuters

Christians must learn to control their anger by giving it over to God, Rick Warren says.

In a blog post on Tuesday, the bestselling author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California says the answer to overcoming anger towards someone who has wronged you is not to express it in an aggressive outburst, but to let it go.

Trying to "get even" with someone who has hurt you makes you "no better than they are," he writes. "When you get even, you are no better than the person who has attacked you. To be better than that person, you overcome evil with good. You respond with love. You look past their words to their pain."

People who display bitterness or who are unkind or arrogant are insecure and feel unloved. "The person who feels deeply loved and deeply secure is generous and gracious to other people," Warren says.

He refers to Proverbs 19:11 – "A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offence".

Christians should not live out the "myth" of modern psychology that the only way to deal with anger is to "pour it out," Warren says.

"If you believe this myth, you're going to struggle with anger your entire life... the more anger you throw out, the more it produces.

"Study after study has shown that aggression only creates more aggression. Angry outbursts more often lead to more anger, until it becomes a habitual pattern in your life."

He urges Christians to instead turn to God to help them deal with the hurt and pain.

Warren's Saddleback Church a few weeks ago baptised its 45,000th person.

Alberto Flores and his 13-year-old son, Andre, were among almost 800 people to be baptised across Saddleback's 16 campuses on October 8 and 9.

Warren called it an "historic weekend for our church".