If buying the right gift for your wife is a challenge that leaves you in a cold sweat, here are some simple tips on what NOT to get her.
1) Something you have never seen her wear
You may have been lucky enough to be born with a knack for women's fashion, but chances are, walking into a women's clothing store leaves you feeling dizzy. And it's little wonder with the speed at which women's fashion changes as well as the sheer range of styles, patterns and colors on offer – and that's before you even get to the accessories! If it's all rather bewildering to you, a good place to start is your wife's own closet. What have you seen her wearing – or more importantly, not wearing? Are there any themes running through her wardrobe? Is it full of purple and blue, but no red or yellow? If she doesn't own any high heeled shoes, chances are she doesn't find them comfortable, so no need for you to try and break her in now. If that one necklace she owns spends more time dangling around her mirror than her neck then it's safe to say she's not hoping you'll buy her more. So if you're thinking about giving your wife some clothes this Christmas, take mental notes – or even photos on your phone – of what she already wears before you head off to the shops, and look for things that are similar (although not exactly the same!). Oh, and remember to check her size!
2) Something that is more about you than her
We've all done it before – seen something we love and excitedly give it to someone else on the false assumption they love it as much as we do. Or even worse, give something to someone that we secretly want for ourselves or think we might benefit from, like dinner for two at that restaurant you've been telling her about for ages and she's shown absolutely no interest in eating at. Choosing something that is genuinely about the other person can be a strong indicator of how much we have paid attention to our other half, and how much we are willing to eliminate ourselves and our own ideas from the equation. You may not think it, but if there is even a hint of selfishness about your gift, she will sniff it out – and pretty quickly too! So ask yourself: What are her interests? What does she love doing? If she loves nothing more than rummaging around second-hand markets for old books and treasures, then does it really matter if you think second-hand books are dull, smelly and take up unnecessary shelf space? Or if she loves hiking every weekend and isn't that into the movies, is that annual Regal pass going to get her as excited as it gets you? Clues to what your other half will love are everywhere if you can be selfless enough to see them.
3) Something that lacks imagination
Whether you like it or not, women scrutinize everything for deeper meanings and messages. To them, it's not that actions speak louder than words, it's more like actions ARE words. And if you get her something that looks like you just plucked it off the shop shelf because it was cheap and did the job, she may not say it to your face, but she will feel hurt and disappointed inside. Why? Because she gauges how much you value her by the value of what you give her. Now don't misunderstand; for most women it's not about the price tag and your gift doesn't necessarily have value because it's expensive. It has value because it makes her feel like you walked barefoot across a hot desert to get it especially for her. What she's looking for when she tears the paper off your gift is your effort. So it helps if it's something a bit different or not from the same old stores you shop at every weekend. As to the type of gifts, there are lots of clichés we could insert here, like chocolate or bubble bath, but if she is a genuine chocolate lover, then why not?! But make it the best chocolate from the best shop in town. Or why not send her on a chocolate-making class? Or even better, make your own chocolate by hand, wrap it in some nice paper with a little ribbon and bow you tied yourself. Even if it's a bit wonky, she'll love it because you tried. You're probably thinking, wonky handmade chocolate, who'd want that?! But the key to giving your wife a great gift is to think how she thinks, not how you think. Think about what your wife really loves and take it up a notch. It's simple!
4) Something she didn't ask for
If your wife just came right out with it and gave you a list or told you what she wants, then great, go get it (although if you're really smart, you'll get her something she didn't ask for as a little surprise. Feeling confused now?!). But if she hasn't told you directly what she wants, don't think that you can feel safe just yet. Your wife may not have said explicitly what she would like, but it's likely she has been dropping hints about it for weeks, probably months, maybe even your whole life. Yikes! It goes like this: you're walking around a store together looking for a gift for your mother-in-law and she casually says something like, "Oh I just love this dress/material/designer," or something like, "I've always wanted one of those but just never got around to it, I should really get myself one someday." Husbands, don't let these little breadcrumbs fall to the ground and get eaten by the birds. If she's saying them in front of you, chances are it isn't a coincidence! It may sound like the most casual, throwaway comment, but she's really saying it for you in the hope that you will remember and buy it for her. Smart guys are the ones taking mental notes for future birthdays and Christmases because – warning - she'll be looking out for them and trying very hard to hide her disappointment when the big day comes and she unwraps something that's not even close!
