The first thing that Christian young women and men need to know is that the Bible is the operating manual for humans. All of its guidance and prescriptions are perfect for humans living their best lives.
For a beginning example, Proverbs chapters five through seven describes perfectly the challenges that young men will have with sexual temptation throughout their young adult lives. This makes perfect sense because God created us and therefore knows exactly how we work. This brings us to the first things that women need to know about men.
What do females need to know about males?
1. Men on average have three times more sex drive than women
Men are much more easily sexually stimulated. There are built in brain anatomy and biochemistry reasons behind this. They have two areas in the sex drive related areas of their brains that are over twice as large as females. The Medial Preoptic Area of the hypothalamus (MPOA), which as the name implies, is located near where the optical impulses from the outside world come into the brain is 2.2 times larger than females and is reactive to testosterone levels. This is one major reason many men are readily visually sexually stimulated. The male medial preoptic hypothalamus is also packed with twice as many neurons as the female.
Another part of the hypothalamus, which is the center of sexuality in humans called the INAH3 is the other nucleus of the hypothalamus that is twice as big as women’s, and it too is packed with twice the number of neurons. Additionally, men have 10 to 20 times more testosterone than women on average and many times less sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG) which negates the effects of hormones. Also, their amygdala, which is the brain’s survival command-and-control area is twice as big and most sensitive to testosterone levels and sexual stimuli.
All of these biologically-based sex differences make men vulnerable to the Coolidge effect, which is very common among male mammals such as rats, rams, cows, sheep, and unfortunately, also humans. This makes these males’ dopamine and testosterone rise in response to novel females. Promiscuity therefore is much harder for especially high testosterone males to resist than typical females.
2. Men think women are interested in them sexually when they are not
Men tend to over perceive women’s sexual interest. Many times, a woman can just be being nice to a man, and he will perceive it as sexual interest. Conversely, women tend to under perceive men’s sexual interest. This leads to many misunderstandings and much sexual conflict.
3. Men think differently when they are aroused
When males become aroused their ethical and moral judgment declines. For example, when a man is not aroused he will not try to tell a woman he loves her in order to have sex with her, give her a date rape drug etc. but when he is aroused, research shows that he may do these things and more.
What do females need to know about themselves?
Females should keep in mind what the Bible says about drinking too much alcohol.
Alcohol raises women’s testosterone levels and can make them sexually reckless
Alcohol consumption raises women’s testosterone levels and lowers their prefrontal cortex inhibitions. This is especially true around women’s ovulatory window each month when their estrogen levels rise by 1000%! Women need to be aware of this and realize this can make them uncharacteristically sexually aggressive and reckless. This is true even at low doses.
Even without alcohol consumption the second week of a woman’s cycle, counting the beginning of her period as day one, is the time of the month that a naturally cycling woman will experience her highest sex drive. She should be aware of this change in mood and motivation state and use this knowledge for effective self-management.
What should males know about females?
Males should keep in mind what the Bible says about their proper treatment and perspective of women.
1. Romance is very important to women
Women often tie emotion to sex and desire intimacy in order to bond. Romance, and romantic settings are important to women.
2. Women are looking not only for attractive men but also good men
Women use a dual-purpose mate selection process. They are looking for good genes for the father of their children as well as a man that displays the character that assures them that they will be a good husband and father and there for the family that the couple is creating in the long run.
3. A man’s total character is important to a woman
Relatedly, women are interested not only in looks but whether a man is intelligent, kind, has a good sense of humor, and generally a good personality.
What should males know about themselves?
Men should keep in mind what the Bible teaches about the importance of wisdom and self-control in their lives.
1. The Testosterone Trap and the Male Danger Zone (MDZ)
Testosterone reaches its highest levels in the late teens and early 20s. I have named this the Testosterone Trap. During this adolescent and emerging adult Male Danger Zone (MDZ) young men have a much higher chance of death by all causes than young women. As far as the tendency towards promiscuity and physical aggression goes, the Testosterone Trap extends into middle-age for most men.
2. Most murders in our society happen between single young adult men
Males murdering other males occurs most from ages 18 to 25 and more frequently in unmarried rather than married men.
3. Most male murders are from social conflict rather than crime
Around two thirds of males killing males results from social conflict rather than crime.
4. The status factor
More than half of these murders are related to status competition.
Conclusion
These certainly are not all of the important aspects of our sex-related lives that young adult females and males need to know in our culture, but they are some of the most important. God’s calling on my life is to get this Sex IQ knowledge out there to young adults worldwide and to those who love them and care about their futures!
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10
Dr Joe Malone is a researcher, author and speaker on sex, dating and relationships. Find out more about his work at https://www.drjoemalone.com/
