Troubled Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan has opened up to chat show queen Oprah Winfrey about her addictions, her relationship with her parents, and her state of mind after her sixth stint in rehab.
The 27-year-old sat down for the interview just four days after she got out of rehab. She admitted she was addicted to Adderall and had taken cocaine around "10 to 15 times", but felt alcohol was more her drug of choice.
"[Cocaine] was like a party thing. People would have it and I would do it. It went hand in hand with drinking," she said.
She said she was no longer on Adderall and only taking vitamins and Nexium for acid reflux.
The actress said her life had felt so chaotic that it made her "kind of want" to go to jail "just to have some peace and just have no choice but to just sit and be".
Lohan served two weeks of a 90 day sentence in 2010 for violating her probation by missing alcohol counselling sessions.
Whereas her previous times in rehab had felt like "punishment", she feels her latest stay worked because she came into it "really willing and really craving more spirituality, and more open, ready to get really honest".
"I feel whole again," she said of the impact of her most recent visit to rehab.
"I'm a very spiritual person and I've become more spiritual as time has gone on," Lohan said. "I'm really in touch, whether it's prayer or meditation... there are so many powers greater than me in the world. I've been blessed and lucky enough to have been given a gift to share with other people."
When Winfrey asked her how she felt being known "as an adjective and a verb for bad behaviour and child star gone wrong", Lohan admitted that was not how she wanted to be known.
She also revealed her eagerness to get back into acting, although she admitted she would have to work really hard to prove herself and regain the trust of Hollywood.
"I have to regain the trust of people in my career that have their doubts and I fully respect that on their behalf."
The interview also went into her tumultuous relationship with her parents, Michael and Dina, but Lohan said she did not blame her parents for the choices she had made.
"I hate the bad rap that people give my parents," Lohan said. "Because they are just parents, really, at the end of the day trying to stand up for their daughter and themselves."
Hollywood blogger NaughtyButNiceRob recently quoted a close family member as telling him that Lohan had "found God" in rehab and that she "reads her Bible everyday and sees a lot of parallels to her own life in it".
"She wants to learn and grow and help others," the family member was quoted as saying. "This has been a turning point for Lindsay. Just like Jesus who discovered he has special gifts when he turned the water into wine, this has been that wine moment for Lindsay."
