When my wife and I got married, we had saved a little money—about enough to last us three months in case we lost our sources of income. But only months into our marriage, we lost almost three-quarters of it. I felt like a failure.
My wife and I have been married for four years now and we've had both good and terrible times when it comes to finances. But through all of it, we've remained strong in our relationship.
Money plays a big role in marriage. But could it be possible that we're making too big a deal out of it to the point that it becomes a stumbling block to a proper marriage?
Matthew 19:5 says, "And said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.'"
That reason for sure was not money, it was the glory of God. Money is an important factor to marriage, but it's not everything.
Mindset More Than Net Worth
I think that too many times we can make net worth too big of a deal before getting married. We postpone marriages to put aside as much money as we can. And as important as that is, what matters more than how much money you have is what mindset you have towards money. More than a lack of money, what's really dangerous is a lack of a proper and healthy view towards money before getting married.
Do you trust it too much? Can you work with whatever God brings to you in one season of your life? Do you trust God to be your ultimate provider at the end of the day? Your attitude towards money as a couple matters more than how much of it you have. Couples should focus on that more.
What Couples Need to Discuss
The most important thing that engaged couples should talk about is not about how much money they want to make, or want to have after the wedding day, but about what they're going to do with it.
Also, the money conversation doesn't just end when the engagement does. After the wedding, there will be times when we will have to talk about money. There will be times of abundance and times of lack. Couples will have to face it together. All that starts with making a resolve to talk about money openly.
It Still Helps a Lot
While money isn't everything to a marriage, it still plays a huge role. Many marriages have been broken due to money. This gives couples an ultimatum to be good stewards of finances, to avoid debt, to control spending and to increase cash flow. Yes, your marriage depends on it.
But even deeper than our need for money is our attitude towards money and our view of God as our ultimate provider. Unless individuals look to God as their source of everything, they will only end up hurting a marriage more than building it.
