"Why would you let this hurt happen to me?"
Rachel Ashley angrily asked this — not to her boyfriend of two-and-half-years who just broke up with her but to God Himself who, she believed then, caused their breakup to happen.
In a viral YouTube video that has attracted over 5.5 million views, Ashley bared her anguish after what appeared to be an ideal relationship with her Christian boyfriend ended all of a sudden when he told her one day that he didn't love her anymore, according to God Reports.
"It totally broke me and I ended up blaming God," the Filipina American Youtuber said in the video. "I got really angry, and I started questioning Him, like, 'Why would you bring someone into my life if you knew I would get so attached to him? Why would you let this hurt happen to me?' I started pushing myself even farther away from God."
Ashley was in the 11th grade at that time and it took her some time before she was able to make sense of what truly happened to her. She eventually realised that although her ex-boyfriend was a professed Christian, he was not able to draw her closer to God. Although they went to church together, she was there not really to worship God but just to be with her boyfriend.
After three months of processing her grief, she finally had an awakening.
"All of a sudden I got like this revelation," she said. "I think God did this for a reason. Maybe He knew that if my boyfriend and I stayed together down the road we would be in some kind of crazy situation. God just sent a peace over me."
Ashley said God spoke to her, telling her, "The reason I took that guy out of your life is because he wasn't the right one for you. There is someone better in store for you."
She said His words comforted her and finally removed the blanket of sorrow that she had wrapped herself with.
"I became completely whole because God was telling me that it was going to be okay," she said. "He gave me that peace and love. I finally got my life back together."
Ashley said she eventually realised that God truly loves her.
"Even though I've been a Christian all of my life, it wasn't until then that I understood what it means to be a child of God," she said. "That was when I finally realised who God is and how much He loves me. Nothing can take you away from His love. Nothing."
