Marriage sure is hard work. Both the husband and the wife need to put in a lot of effort and understanding if they want their marriage to be fulfilling and satisfying. Fulfilling marriages don't just happen. They are made to happen.
An appeal to the husbands
Husbands have a big part to play in their marriages. Husbands who want to see a satisfying and fulfilling marriage need to learn some important things so that they can do their part in making their marriage work and be fulfilling.
To help you, my fellow husband, work towards a fulfilling marriage, here are some things you should learn or realize.
1) You need to put effort into the right things
We usually put much time and energy giving effort to some things we believe that will help our marriage, but sadly we don't take as much time determining what really works. Guys, we need to pour out our resources into things that help our marriages. We need to work on what's good for our respective wives, not just our personal well-being (see Philippians 2:4; 1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 5:25).
For starters, let's begin with our love languages. Bestselling author Gary Chapman, author of "The 5 Love Languages," says that each and every person has a specific "love language" that they use to communicate giving and receiving love.
If your wife's love language is "touch," you're going to have to cultivate physical expressions of love such as holding hands or embracing her (especially in public). If her language is "words of appreciation," you'll need to stop talking down to her and speak well to her more. Attempting to do otherwise (in both cases) will backfire.
2) You're going to need God's help for your marriage
Men, let's quit trying to be macho and capable of everything (see John 15:5). We will need God's help in our marriages. There are some things we can only accomplish when we fall down on our knees and cry out to God for help.
There are many things beyond our control. For example, we can't control other people's feelings, including that of our respective wives. We can't control the economy. We can't control our supervisors at work. We don't know everything.
While we can – and should – do our best to take care of our wives, our jobs, and our finances, we must realize that some things aren't in our hands. We need God's strength to help us do what we can, and His goodness to do the things we can't (see 2 Corinthians 12:9).
3) Prioritize your marriage above all human relationships
Lastly, guys, we should learn to prioritize our relationship with our wives more than any other human relationship we have on earth. God meant marriage to be just between and man and his wife, and we must always remember to keep it that way (see Matthew 19:4-6).
While it's always tempting to be a hero to others, we should first be a hero in our marriages. We must protect our wives, make sure they are secure in our love, and do our best to weed out and prevent the growth of any other thing that might negatively affect or even destroy our marriages.
Say goodbye to those "friendships" or relationships that don't help your marriage. Cut off communications with women your wife isn't comfortable with. Don't even think of keeping a secret from your wife, especially your dealings with other women. Let your wife know that you love her – and let other women know by your actions that you are for your wife alone (see Song of Solomon 6:3).
Gentlemen, God will ask us of our wives when we meet Him face to face. I pray we can all face Him boldly and say that we've taken care of His daughter the way Christ loved the church (see Ephesians 5:21-33).
