Shocked but happy: Those were the two dominant emotions that filled an unmarried pastor from New York City when she found out that she's pregnant with twins.
Pastor Desireé Allen said she knew the possible consequences of her unplanned pregnancy but that she's neither sorry nor ashamed, The Christian Post reported.
Although she knows she's carrying the weight of the "ugly truth" of a church leader who had sex outside of marriage, Allen vowed not to allow herself to be "slut shamed" and to keep preaching with pride until she "can no longer waddle on the stage."
Allen serves as the pastor of arts and spiritual formation of First Corinthian Baptist Church in New York City. She's also the director of Harlem's The Dream Center.
In a blog post, she said she discovered she was expecting in May while on vacation at Disney World. She admitted having dreaded the prospects of announcing her unplanned pregnancy. At the same time, however, she felt happy that she's going to have a baby, twin babies at that!
Allen eventually mustered enough courage to finally reveal her secret to her executive pastor during their annual staff retreat.
She said the response she got stunned her.
"In a moment I will never forget, our executive pastor had the staff encircle around me and they begin to pray," she began saying. "A noise that can only be described as a wail left my mouth and I broke—to the point of needing a chair to sit in. I broke in the most beautiful way possible. In the breaking I was free. That ugly Jesus cry released every anxiety, fear and worry holding me down. They promised to protect me and support me. In that moment I saw God. It was a moment that transcended boundaries or judgment. It was pure love. I felt free."
In a post on her Facebook page, Allen said her due date is Jan. 16, 2017 and that she is expecting twins with her fiancé Tony Elder.
