How To Be A Really Bad Disciple

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James and John said to Jesus, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." (Mark 10:35)

I am currently teaching the piano to a retired friend nearby. He has never played a musical instrument before and hasn't previously read music. But he is an enthusiastic student and diligent in practising.

Last week, however, we got a bit stuck. My friend persistently played the penultimate section of one piece at twice the right speed. Over and over again, I pointed out that the notes in question should be held down for double the length of time he had just played. Over and over again he agreed – before making the same mistake once more!

The problem was that he had learnt the piece wrongly at home to start with. As is so often the case, when you begin by repeatedly getting something incorrect, it is hard – though by no means impossible – to re-learn it later on.

So it is with following Jesus, except with more serious consequences: get it wrong at the start, and you risk ending up a really bad disciple. There is the danger your spiritual life will gradually veer off course before crashing on to the rocks. But it is never quite too late to learn. And that is why, again and again, Jesus takes time to correct the misunderstandings of his disciples about what following him means. Fortunately, since we too are often slow learners, we can benefit from their mistakes. So as we continue our fortnightly pilgrimage through Mark's Gospel, here are two things from chapter 10 that we will want to steer clear of if we wish to avoid being bad disciples:

1. Failing to understand the importance and meaning of the cross. Here we have the third time Jesus talks through the cross and resurrection with his disciples (10:33-34). But as mentioned in passing previously, Luke in his Gospel points out that, even now, the disciples still "understood nothing at all about these things".

And what about us? Are we clear on what the cross is all about? Is the cross at the heart of the preaching in the church we attend – or has it somehow got sidelined? One good place to start is by reading John Stott's classic The Cross of Christ. As Jesus makes clear, understanding why he came to die is something vital for us to be clear on.

2. Failing to understand that discipleship is about self-sacrifice rather than self-fulfilment. James and John, two of Jesus' friends, come forward and ask him boldly, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you," (10:35). It turns out what they have in mind is acquiring the top two positions in his kingdom! But as Jesus pointedly explains: "Whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant," (v43).

And it's so easy for us to think that – however much we dress it up in spiritual language – God is there to do what we wish. God does delight to give us many good things, of course, but not for our selfish indulgence. He's not there to realise our dreams, but to mould us into Godly people – often through the hard knocks of this life.

The issue of self-fulfilment is a particular snare for those of us who work for churches full time. It is easy for ministers to gain their sense of self-worth and status from their role – or even their robes – rather than their identity in Christ. But for all of us, self-sacrifice must be central, following on from Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for us. As he puts it himself here: "Whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many," (v44-45).

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his classic The Cost of Discipleship, writes: "When Christ calls a person, he bids them come and die." Bonhoeffer himself, of course, was to die a martyr in Second World War Germany for denouncing the evils of Nazism.

So what sort of disciple will you be today? These famous words of Richard of Chichester (1197-1253) may help us respond in prayer: "O most merciful redeemer, friend and brother, may I know you more clearly, love you more dearly, and follow you more nearly day by day. Amen."

David Baker is a former daily newspaper journalist now working as an Anglican minister in Sussex, England. The Rough Guide to Discipleship is a fortnightly series.