The call to the office of an overseer or pastor is unique in that it involves not only his conduct at work. The qualifications of a pastor also entail how they conduct their homes, including the role of his wife.
And while pastors' wives do have certain roles to play, sometimes the expectations people have can get a little over the top. Here are five unhealthy stereotypes that many people have about pastors' wives.
Stereotype #1. They always work for the church
While some wives do leave professions to focus on co-leading churches with their husbands, it is not a requirement to ask all pastors' wives to do so. God's calling is unique for everyone. Pastors' wives can also be called to other professions. Who says that pastors' wives cannot work as managers, businesswomen, lawyers or doctors?
Stereotype #2. We are to call her "pastor" too
Being a pastor is a calling, but sometimes it is also just a title. Some pastors' wives are uncomfortable being called pastor simply because of the false expectations that are paired with a loosely thrown title.
Also some churches have a very rigorous process of choosing and ordaining pastors. Just as lay-workers cannot be ordained as pastors so easily, pastors' wives also do not become ordained simply because their husbands do.
Stereotype #3. They have all the answers to women's problems
Pastors' wives can be strong pillars for the ladies of the church, but they are not Jesus Christ. Pastors' wives may often run into situations where they don't have the experience or wisdom to answer questions, but we do have a God who does.
When pastors' wives tell us things like "Pray about it," "Just trust God" or "Jesus is the answer to your problem," it's really because the pastor's wife is not the answer to your problem.
Stereotype #4. They don't face the problems that we do
Pastors' wives are people, too, and they also go through the same problems that everyone goes through. They face bills, frustration, burnout, financial crisis, spiritual dryness and exhaustion, too. They are not special people with super powers or bigger anointing from the Holy Spirit.
Stereotype #5. Raising children is their expertise
Our common concept of pastors' wives who are new mothers is that they automatically know how to raise children. Parenting, just like any life skill, is not inborn anyone. It is learned. Pastors' wives also need advice and counsel on how to raise children.
