Marriage is a very beautiful thing, something many singles long for and pray for. But when the praying and waiting takes a bit longer than expected, what do you do?
Do you keep praying to God for a spouse, even if it's been years since you started praying, and still He hasn't given you one?
Or do you stop praying and start looking for a spouse on your own?
Or perhaps, do you stop praying and ultimately conclude that it's not God's will for you to be married at all?
Before jumping into any of these conclusions, I want to share something with you, dear read. Please read on.
When the prayers remain unanswered
Many single Christians around the world ask God for a spouse, someone they could love and wish to love them back. There's nothing wrong with that; in fact, it's good.
When the prayers remain unanswered, however, many single men and women quickly give up on praying and do one of two things: look for the partner they want, or stop looking and hoping at all believing that marriage is not God's will for them.
I understand that it feels bad to just keep praying and receive no reply. Well, here's the thing: we can't keep praying and demand that God would respond to us at a time we want with the answer we want.
God is God, and thus we can't force Him to respond with a "yes" if He doesn't want to.
But because God is good, we can trust His response: that it's always the best for us.
Keep going
That said, should a single Christian still keep praying for a spouse even when God doesn't seem to reply with a favorable, pleasing answer?
Before we answer that, here are a few considerations:
1) Perhaps God is not saying "yes" to us because He doesn't want who we have in mind
We need to give God the freedom to choose. He knows our hearts. We can't keep asking Him for His will when we've got someone else in mind.
He knows who is best for us. If we keep asking for something only for our own pleasure, He won't give in. He's that good. James 4:3 tells us,
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures."
2) Perhaps it's not yet the right time
God knows the perfect time for everything. Some single Christians feel like God isn't saying "yes" because He's taking too much time.
Well, why the hurry?
If God gave the Christian singer Carman a wife after reaching 61, then there should be no problem about God not allowing people to marry at 25 or 35.
Patience, dear friends. Perhaps God wants you to focus on something else first - like your character, your maturity, how you handle finances, or most of all, your relationship with Him.
"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11)
3) Perhaps God just wants you to grow as you keep praying
Ever noticed in the Bible how many faithful men and women kept praying to God for a long time, even when He could actually just reply in a split second of their words?
These people grew in their devotion and pursuit of God. They did not waver in their prayers; rather, they kept going until God answered. While they kept hoping and praying, they lived upright lives.
In the same way, perhaps God is just training and molding you to pursue Him. He wants to be the greatest pursuit anyone on earth will ever have, far greater than marriage, riches, or fame.
"...pray without ceasing..." (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
