Pastor Chip Ingram of Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, California, knows that following rules can be difficult, but he reminds Christians that love is the driving force out of every rule and parameter set by God.
Ingram says God made rules regarding love and sex because He wants His children to have nothing but the very best when it comes to love, sex, and relationships.
The truth is every gift that flows out of love almost always has some rules and parameters that are set around it. "God knows that sex outside of marriage is second-rate sex – it's sex with guilt and shame attached and some pretty devastating consequences," he writes in an article for The Christian Post.
A sexually immoral lifestyle, according to Ingram, is one where couples live together outside of marriage or engage in behaviour that would cause the partner to desire them sexually outside the bonds of marriage.
"Even if someone doesn't believe in God's Word or follow His rules, it is undeniable that there are certain spiritual, physical and emotional price tags that go along with sex outside of marriage," Ingram says.
He cites statistics obtained by researchers from UCLA, who discovered that couples who live together prior to marriage have a 50 percent higher rate of divorce than those who do not.
"They are also more likely to experience infidelity in marriage. Studies have also found that the introduction of sex into a dating relationship almost always ushers in the breakup of the relationship," he says.
This is why Ingram says it makes perfect sense for God to tell His children: "Keep the fire of sex in the fireplace of marriage. If you take it out and put it on the living room floor, it will burn the house down."
He explains that God isn't "withholding" sex from those who are unmarried since His ultimate desire is to let Christians experience deep, intimate love that will last a lifetime.
"The purpose of His rules is to maximise our relationships and pleasure in the long run," Ingram says. "Real, loving relationships demand sexual purity. People that only want a one-night stand don't need purity because their behaviour is about self-worship and not about truly loving another person. If we want a loving and lasting relationship, then sexual purity is a must."
