Great marriages are not a result of luck. Christian author Dave Willis says a great marriage is the result of a couple's choices, attitudes and habits.
To help couples build stronger marital ties, Willis made a list of eight habits every couple needs to have.
"After working with couples from all over the world and implementing these practices through trial and error in our own marriage, I'm firmly convinced that these eight habits are what separate the happy couples from everyone else," he wrote on his blog.
The first habit is for couples never to look at each other as an enemy. Even happy couples have disagreements, he said, but they always keep in mind that they're partners in everything and their relationship is far more important than their arguments.
The second habit is for couples to exercise patience in their relationship. "When two spouses are moving through life at different speeds, it can be a source of constant frustration for them both OR it can be an opportunity to serve each other," he said. "Whenever you intentionally sacrifice your own preference or pace for the sake of the marriage, you're making an investment into the relationship."
Willis then acknowledged that the third habit — which is to let go of past hurts — can be difficult to achieve. However, when couples learn to let go of bitterness in their marriage, Willis assures them that they'll improve the long-term health of their marriage.
The fourth habit is never to let the marriage get on "autopilot." Willis warned, "Don't let your marriage stay on autopilot, because it will eventually crash! Look for ways to make little investments of time and thoughtfulness into the marriage. Be watchful for anything unhealthy that's starting to take root in the relationship and then address it right away. Don't expect problems to go away on their own."
The fifth habit, according to Willis, is to always speak to each other with a loving and encouraging tone. Every happy couple builds each other up. "They work hard to speak with thoughtfulness and respect even in moments of frustration and disagreement. They don't nag or vent about each other online or to their friends," he said.
Next, Willis said happy couples always support each other's dreams. They might have shared dreams, but they're equally supportive of each other's individual dreams.
The seventh habit couples must achieve is to face struggles with the right mindset. "Struggles in marriage are inevitable, but quitting is optional. You don't have to give up when struggles come," he said. "In fact, the ONLY way for a marriage to make it is for the couple to decide that no struggle will ever be strong enough to break them apart."
Lastly, Willis said happy couples need to be thankful for every day they get to spend together. Happy couples don't take their time for granted, and they see each day as a new opportunity to build a new beginning and prepare for the future.
"When you see every day with your spouse as a gift, your marriage will become a true gift. When you choose to see every day with your spouse as a curse, your negative mindset will create more negativity in your marriage," Willis said.
