Rick Warren: 7 characteristics to look for in a husband or wife

 Pixabay

Emotional health is one of the most important factors to take into consideration when thinking about marriage, Rick Warren has said.

In a May 20 blog, the pastor of Saddleback Church in California offers seven emotional health factors to keep in mind when considering engagement. Eight out of 10 marriage breakdowns occur because "one or both of the partners are emotionally unhealthy", he says.

"If you wait for the perfect wife or the perfect husband, it isn't going to just happen. Let me tell you why: We're all broken. That's why we need a Savior. We need Jesus. God loves you, but you need to understand that anybody you marry will be broken too," Warren writes.

"Everybody's broken, but some people are a lot more broken than others. And you need to avoid them no matter how good-looking, rich, or nice they are. You have to figure out the emotional health of your potential partner before you enter into a long-term relationship."

He goes on to suggest seven characteristics of an emotionally healthy partner:

1. Someone who isn't nursing uncontrolled anger

2. Someone who isn't stuck in addiction

3. Someone who isn't harbouring bitterness

4. Someone who isn't selfish

5. Someone who isn't greedy

6. Someone who is generous and kind

7. Someone who always tells the truth

This might seem like an impossible list to live up to, Warren says, but "God cares about you and he cares about who you marry".

"The thing to do while you're prayerfully waiting on God to show you who to marry is to do the things that God tells you to do in your own life. In other words, obey God in the things you know to do and start preparing yourself to be the person your future spouse is looking for," he says.

"And no matter what your situation, remember God is a God of Hope. Do the thing you know he wants you to do, and watch to see how he works in your life."

Warren, who is married to Kay, has written extensively on relationships. On Saturday, he told readers that a personal relationship with Jesus is vital to emotional health and a strong marriage. "If you don't have that, you need to start there. You need to get spiritually connected to God," he said.

"Don't date until your own emotional hurts are healed or at least until you're in the healing process. We've got to get rid of any bitterness in our lives. Get rid of any anger in our lives. In other words, we've got to deal with our own baggage. How do I do that? Get with God. Learn from Jesus."

related articles
I Ain\'t Into Making Love
I Ain't Into Making Love

I Ain't Into Making Love

10 questions to help strengthen your marriage
10 questions to help strengthen your marriage

10 questions to help strengthen your marriage

7 tips to affair-proof your marriage
7 tips to affair-proof your marriage

7 tips to affair-proof your marriage

What is biblical submission?
What is biblical submission?

What is biblical submission?

The one tiny word that could transform your relationship
The one tiny word that could transform your relationship

The one tiny word that could transform your relationship

News
The story of the pope known as the Apostle to the English
The story of the pope known as the Apostle to the English

Pope Gregory I, known as Gregory the Great, was one of the most important popes, and his positive legacy is still felt today - not least in Britain. This is the story … 

Christians redouble efforts to stop assisted suicide
Christians redouble efforts to stop assisted suicide

Christians are doubling down on efforts to stop assisted suicide becoming legal in England and Wales after Kim Leadbeater's bill was debated in Westminster on Friday. 

Christian leaders unite in Westminster to kick off 2025 ‘Shine Your Light’ evangelism campaign
Christian leaders unite in Westminster to kick off 2025 ‘Shine Your Light’ evangelism campaign

More than 100 Christian leaders recently came together at a parliamentary reception in London for the launch of Shine Your Light 2025 — a bold evangelistic initiative aiming to bring the message of Christ to streets, neighbourhoods, and marketplaces across the UK.

Darlington nurses still waiting for single-sex changing space despite Supreme Court ruling
Darlington nurses still waiting for single-sex changing space despite Supreme Court ruling

An NHS trust has been accused of continually flouting the law around women’s rights by requiring female nurses to get changed in front of a biologically male nurse who goes by the name of “Rose”.