Marriages that are centered on Christ Jesus can be characterized by one thing: Jesus takes the center stage in the relationship, and there's no competition between Him and any spouse.
While that might sound ideal, what usually happens is that a man or woman's devotion to the Lord is challenged by their spouse. This is best explained by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34.
"An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."
Despite that, marriage isn't a bad thing. Before that passage, Paul said marrying is not a sin against God (v. 28). The Lord is the One who instituted marriage, and was full of joy when He officiated the first wedding ceremony between Adam and Eve (see Genesis 2:19-25). Still, Adam was supposed to prioritize God more than Eve or himself. If he had, he probably wouldn't have eaten the forbidden fruit (see Gen. 3:1-7).
Do you feel that your or your spouse's devotion to Christ is affected by each other? Here are some things that you can do to put Christ in top spot, and your spouse where they should be: the most important person in your life next to Jesus.
1) Check for signs
When you're married you'll need to adjust to meet each other's needs, but your relationship with God should not be compromised. Check yourself. Are you spending less time in your devotions so that you can meet your spouse's needs or wants? Do you prioritise your spouse's opinions or feelings more than what the Word of God says? Are you always ready for fellowship with your spouse but skipping services, cell group or quiet times?
You'll easily know if your spouse is competing with Jesus for your attention. For example, if you're likely to forego reading the Bible to watch a movie with your spouse on a daily basis, then you know there's competition brewing.
2) Take Action
If you see signs of competition, take necessary steps to elevate Christ in your heart and mind. Tell your spouse you need to give time to God, and do it. Of course, it's great if you can do this together so why not make a commitment to pursue God together. Whatever you do, prioritize Him. Your spouse will actually appreciate this in the long run.
3) Keep Jesus in top spot
When you've given to Jesus what rightfully belongs to Him in your marriage, make efforts to keep it that way. Keep spending time with Him and prioritizing His Word. Better yet, establish a prayer and Bible reading time together with your spouse. He'll bless your marriage and help both you and your spouse become the persons you need to be – more like Him with each day.
