Although both man and woman are created in the image of God, it's a fact that they're totally different in many respects. Because of this, husbands and wives should realize that they will need to put in a lot of effort to understand each other.
Today, I hope to encourage all my fellow husbands. Have you ever experienced confusion trying to understand what your wife really wants, especially when she's giving you the silent treatment?
I honestly admit that I don't know everything, but I hope that with some help from the Bible we'll have a few concrete ideas. If you're ready, then let me share something with you.
Created differently
The Bible tells us that man and woman are created differently, although God created both of them in His image and had the same purpose for them (see Genesis 1:26-28).
First, we read in Genesis 2:7 that "the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being." From here we realize that God created man in the wilderness, a rough and tough being.
Second, we read in Genesis 2:21-22 that "the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man."
Guys, God created women to be a refined being, made from an already finished product. Take note of that.
Then, in Genesis 3 we read that the serpent tempted Eve while Adam simply stood by doing nothing (see Genesis 3:1-6). From here we see man's passivity and failure to protect his wife.
Lastly, after the fall, God told the woman that "[y]our desire shall be for your husband..." (see Genesis 3:16). This is very important to note as well.
A God-ordained difference
So let's take stock of what we have learned so far:
- Men are rough while women are delicate.
- Adam remained passive while Eve was being tempted.
- God told Eve that her desire would be for her husband.
Based on these things, we husbands should understand that when our wives give us the silent treatment, it's going to be one of these reasons:
- We have treated them wrongly or at least roughly, and they want us to realize that so we will learn to treat them better.
- They want us to take the initiative in building a close relationship with them. We shouldn't be passive, especially when it comes to our marriages.
- They simply long for us and want us to pursue them, just like how we did during the early stage of our marriage.
- They need to feel they have been heard.
Grow in love
My fellow husbands, I know it's a challenge to treat our wives the way they want to, but we should do our best because this relationships affects so many other areas of our lives. As His daughters, our wives are very precious to God, in fact far more precious than we will know and comprehend. And so it's right for us to grow in our love for our spouses.
I leave you with this exhortation: let's all strive to love our wives the way Christ Jesus loved the church. He's our role model and best example, and so we should imitate Him. Think about the way the resurrected Jesus approached Mary when she was crying outside His tomb; He wasn't annoyed or dismissive of her emotional state, He wanted to resolve it.
Or consider the time He took to teach the woman by the well, a woman who was completely undeserving of His time or interest - or instruction.
Or the moment Jesus, while being tortured on the cross, was full of care for the welfare of His mother Mary and took (literal) pains to entrust her to the care of John.
There are so many more interactions between Jesus and women that can signpost us men on how to treat our wives.
With all of that in mind, I leave you with this verse:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her..." (Ephesians 5:25)
