My heart breaks for all the families who lost children and adults in the Manchester attack.
Everyone connected to The Mariposa Trust knows about loss, and we would love to stop anyone else from knowing the pain of grief. I send all my love to anyone touched by this horrific act of evil.
So many of us are now left with questions. A big one for me is, what we can say to our children who fear to live on a planet where terrorism is now a daily occurrence and how do we raise them to not live in fear?
I simply don't think there is a correct answer. We just have to keep talking, answer any questions our children may have and wrap them in love.
As an avid news watcher I have become almost accustomed to hearing of atrocities around the world, and perhaps this has made me a tad resilient. The Manchester attack feels very different. I feel shaken. I feel scared.
I keep asking myself why this has happened and why it has induced a deep fear within me. Is it because this was targeted at innocent children? I assume it is, even though children have never been immune or safe from attack – just look at Syria. But these are our children; this could have been my daughter, who is also eight and an avid Ariana Grande fan.
I hate living in a world where we are now expected to be constantly on high alert, where we have to consider whether this is a safe place to take our children. I have found myself walking different routes to avoid roads where people may mount the pavements in vehicles. What was once simply a mode of transport is now a potential weapon. Sadly this is now our planet, and I certainly don't see it changing in the short term, so how can we move forward?
As a mother I often find myself wanting to purchase an island so I can create a haven for my children. It has become a standing joke in our family that if we hear anything bad on the news, we shout 'Bring on the island!' I have certainly known enough loss and seen way too much death; I yearn to keep my family safe. So what stops me from packing our bags and retreating to the woods? This quote is what stops me:
Fear does not stop death; it stops life.
We cannot hide from death, but we can run from life. What good is life if we are strangled by fear?
So do I choose to let fear control me? No, I don't, even though this means I need to battle with my mind.
I remind myself daily of this amazing Bible verse from Psalm 91:
'He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.'
I am acutely aware I have a choice every day. I can be bound by fear, or I can continue with life and commit to putting as much goodness into the world as possible.
So my choice is this:
I will teach my girls to be careful, to always be observant, to listen to that small inner voice and if they sense anything maybe wrong, leave.
I will explain what to do in an emergency situation and then....
I will teach them to live.
I will encourage them to love deeply and to respect those around them.
I will show them how to make the world a better place, because everyone can make a difference.
For every evil person there are many more filled with light, and if we all radiate that light, darkness will not be able to hide.
Zoe Clark-Coates is International CEO and founder of the Mariposa Trust, which supports those who have lost a baby in pregnancy or infancy. Follow her on Twitter @clarkcoates.
