I'll let you into a little secret with regards to our home budget - my wife spends more money than I do. That may not come as a surprise to you especially if you're married, but in many instances, it may look like marriage isn't as fun as the movies make it. There are sacrifices, misunderstandings and little injustices such as my shortchanged budget. But that's what love and marriage is about - knowing the cost and paying it. Many times, your happiness and enjoyment come last.
But that's not the popular mainstream notion most tend to have about marriage. Marriage is sometimes viewed in the light of fairy tales. People can expect there will be generous reciprocity everyday, our partners will always be in the mood for sex whenever we are, and that you will still get butterflies every time you see your spouse. Imagine your dream girl drooling on her pillow in the middle of the night and let me know if any of that still applies.
Marriage, in reality, was never centered and built on your happiness and enjoyment. It was meant to be centered on God's happiness and enjoyment. Mark 10:9 says this: "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." Two realizations I derived from this scripture:
- It is God that joins a man and a woman in marriage.
- What God must have joined must have brought Him joy.
That day when wedding bells were ringing, birds were singing and you were exchanging vows, the happiest person was not the bride, not the groom, not even the gatecrasher waiting for the cake slicing. The person who experienced the most joy was God Himself. That's what makes marriage sacred and special.
God is most pleased in the union between man and woman. He is most pleased when they walk in His statures and decrees. He is most pleased when the two sacrifice and live out of the assurance of the faith they have in the third strand - Jesus Christ.
Marriage is God's joy before it is ours, and when we keep it that way, our joy follows naturally. When God is pleased, we are most blessed. So the best thing to do in a marriage really is not to focus on bringing ourselves pleasure, not even on bringing our spouse pleasure, but on bringing God the utmost pleasure.
1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." I'm sure marriage was included in the pretense of "whatever you do." Our chief end remains the same all throughout and even more so in marriage - we exist to honor God and bring Him gladness by trusting in Him and choosing His way of marriage over our own. When God is most pleased in our marriages, we are most blessed in all aspects of life.
