75 thoughts you have on Christmas Day

It's so flipping early.
Why have I been woken up?
Wait..
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
Comrades, assemble.
Now is the hour.
The birth of Christ.
The day of feasting.
It has begun.
Time to open the stocking!
I see mum is still insisting that it's all from Santa.
I think she might actually believe it herself.
Does anyone ever actually use the things they are given in their stockings?
I do not remember the last time I needed a puzzle box.
Still, I am obviously very grateful.
Breakfast time.
It's okay to eat chocolate for breakfast isn't it?
I flipping love Christmas.
I already miss my advent calendar though.
It's like a surprise every morning.
Even though you know exactly what you're getting.
Anyway, onwards and upwards.
Today is all about food and presents.
And Jesus, obviously.
Speaking of – church time.
Looking forward to the annual Nativity play.
Even if I did never get to play Mary.
But everyone did say I bought real depth to the role of barn door.
Man, they've bought a real donkey in this year.
#VillageLife.
They've really pushed the boat out.
And the innkeeper looks decidedly surly for a six-year-old.
That is very good acting.
Or maybe he just fancies the girl who's playing Mary.
I think that's probably it, actually.
He just kicked Joseph.
Oh, one of the recorder players has keeled over.
I think the excitement got to him.
This is excellent.
I've never seen such drama at St Matthew's.
And mulled wine!
In church!
Every day should be Christmas.
It's what Jesus would have wanted.
Though imagine everyone else getting presents on your birthday?
Something about that isn't right.
Jesus is very unselfish.
There's probably a talk in that, somewhere.
Anyway, heading home for lunch.
Already bracing myself for the 'JUST EAT ONE SPROUT' stand off.
Every single year.
I'm choosing my seat more wisely this time though.
Right next to the roast potatoes.
I've got everything within reach.
Well played.
And look at this giant paperclip I got in my cracker.
I'm sure that will prove useful.
SO. FULL.
I'm just going to roll on over to the sofa for the Queen's speech.
There's no chance I'm standing for the whole thing this year.
Sorry, Liz.
She looks great though.
No one carries off a lilac two-piece quite like her.
This will be devastatingly boring when it's Charles.
Time for a little nap I think.
I'll just doze off in front of It's A Wonderfu...
Oh no. I've been dragged into a game of charades.
Aunt Mildred is doing what looks like a very enthusiastic shark impression.
It's quite alarming actually.
Remind me never to watch Jaws with her.
Hmmm feeling peckish.
I mean, I'm not obviously, but it would be silly to let all that cheese go to waste.
And those scotch eggs.
And that entire charcuterie board, actually.
In we go. It is Christmas, after all.

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75 thoughts you have on Christmas Day

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