No one has to look far to find someone who is hurting at some level. Your community—and the whole world really—are filled with people who have experienced loss, rejection, hurt, offence and anything that may cause grief or internal pain.
Issues that hurt can be as small as quarrels and conflicts at home or in the workplace or can be as big as the loss of a loved one, the shutting down of a business or a relational conflict.
In all these situations, what are we to do? In this aspect, there are two kinds of believers—the one who lets problems fly by or the person who actively takes part in helping those who are hurt.
There's no questioning the motive of people who love their neighbours enough to be compelled to minister and act upon the needs of those who are hurting.
But sometimes they can unintentionally make things worse.
Here are six things we should avoid doing when ministering to hurting people.
1. Being Quick to Give Advice
The last thing that most hurting people need to hear is advice. It's not that they don't need to change some things, but it's just bad timing. At the time of deep grief, what people need most is the presence of someone who can empathise with them and provide support.
2. Imply That Their Loss Is Caused by Their Mistakes
We all know that we're somewhat responsible for most losses in business, property, or even romantic relationships. Even the grieving person knows that, and the peak of grief is not the best time to pound that in. There's a time for everything and unless we are careful with the timing we can bring guilt instead of restoration.
3. Make Assumptions
When people are ready to talk about the pain they experience, the best thing we can do is listen and ask questions. Never assume things and always be quick to provide encouragement.
4. Neglecting the Practical
Yes, grief is a spiritual bondage in many ways, but it's also a practical problem that people have to face. Loss, conflict and abuse bring about practical problems that need to be acknowledged as well.
5. Tell Them to 'Stop Grieving'
Grief is a natural process instituted by God for hurt people to go through. It reminds us of the value of things and of people and allows us to realise that value by processing its absence. It is not something we should stop or cut short. Insteadd we have to walk people through it.
6. Going Over Our Abilities
When in doubt about your capability to minister, get help. Yes, God can and will use you in many ways to bring comfort and encouragement to those who are hurt and grieving. But there are cases that only professional pastors, counsellors and authorities can handle. We do hurting people a great disservice by failing to lead them to more competent helpers.
