Life is best enjoyed in the boundary of rules and laws. That's why the Bible gives us commandments to follow; not to remove our joy, but to amplify it in a safe context and environment. But what happens when life becomes all about the rules and about religiously following them? What if the rules replace the joy of the relationship?
Parenting can be very tricky because as much as we want to protect our kids and reserve the best for them, there comes a point that too much of the law will signal a hint of legalism.
And again, there is nothing wrong with rules. In fact, rules are good and your household should have them, but they should never overtake the trust and love that you and your kids share.
Legalism can be hurtful to a child, and practicing it too heavily might stunt their growth instead of encourage it. Here are some legalistic practices that parents should steer clear from.
Imposing your dreams
Our children, just like anyone, has a specific call from God that only they can discover and achieve. When it becomes too much about what we want for our kids, we could destroy what intimacy they have with God by disallowing them to hear from God directly in terms of what they should be doing.
Focusing on their weaknesses too much
Every child is bad at something and extremely talented at another thing. Instead on focusing on areas of improvement all the time, it's also healthy to jump to the other side of the talent spectrum and praise you kids for what they are good at and helping them grow in those skills.
Not telling your kids "I love you"
Children need affirmation from their parents. Although sincerely telling your kids how much you love them is a good way to do so, we can also choose to do other ways to express our love for them such as gifts and actions.
Missing family time
When was the last time you spent a day out with your kids and took a day off work to just be with them? Relationships need a healthy amount of invested time and effort for it to grow.
Disciplining without hearing their side
Instead of being quick to discipline, one thing we can do is hear our children's side of the story when they do something wrong and then taking time to explain why what they did was wrong. As true as it is that discipline should not be withheld, it is good to have a strong understanding of why discipline is being done.
